7 Comments

I've never heard the term "performative parenting". Maybe that's something new. My son and my step-children are all in their 30s and 40s now. With each passing Mother's Day, my expectations lessen. Any time I have with my busy kids with their own demanding lives is good, regardless of the calendar. If I remain truly in the moment, the day of the year doesn't really matter.

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Thanks for sharing your perspective. Performative parenting is a relatively new term for a parent who has to demonstrate their “perfect parenting,” most notably on social media. For a second, I thought maybe I made it up, but it’s on the internet. 😂

I think you’ve got the right spirit. Less about the day and more about the intent—enjoying your time with your kids.

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Yup! My lack of performative parenting is sometimes an issue with my daughter (she’d love if we went all out for the holidays—the more decor, the better) but holy heck I do not have time for that.

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Oh, that's interesting. I think of performative parenting as those who are using social media as the vehicle for giving off the appearance that they're a good parent. Maybe I need to define that better.

It's sounds kind of sweet that your daughter wants you to pull out all the stops, but I could see how that could be a big time issue!

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Yes - part of her interest is making videos about it! Performative tweening? I compromised by letting her make a video of us going to Goodwill and getting decorations vs a bunch of new stuff….that will eventually get trashed or end up at Goodwill.

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Ok, well, that’s cool too. She’s got some creative talents! We’re big into thrifting over here too. It becomes a problem, though, because when the kids need something like shorts, instead of going to one store and buying a few pairs, they have to search out the perfect pair of jeans, which might not exist and might require multiple thrifting sessions, and then cut them off.

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Yes, clothes are another matter for sure! and shoes.

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