I love that you write about body image and it’s ever-present impact on most women. Sadly, it’s nothing new- I was in college more than 40 years ago when cigarettes, coffee, cocaine, and various forms of speed were used to curb the appetite to stay thin. “Nice” girls in the “top” sororities did lots of coke.
I’m not surprised that some moms encourage the prescription weight loss solutions, seeing it as safer than some alternatives that they may have used when on their own quest to be accepted into a looks-focused group.
What makes me the saddest is that it seems to get linked to self worth. And since I’m almost 62 years old I can tell you that while it is possible to overcome this, there are still things that will trigger the desire to be thinner for the rest of your life. I wish I could have back the years I spent hating my body and looking for external validation in all the wrong ways. I would love to tell the young people just how beautiful they are and how much more they are than a size or number on a scale. And how much food they need and muscle and how to protect their bones. And to enjoy life and school and sports and to fuel themselves and nourish their bodies and souls.
I agree with every single point you made here! I wish more women with the benefit of years and perspective would sing this at the top of their lungs!! So many of us need to hear it.
We all knew this was coming, right? Those of us who know about eating disorders personally and/or professionally saw the writing on the wall once these drugs were available online and marketed *relentlessly* to everyone, all day long. And yet we were accused of fear-mongering or somehow trying to gatekeep access to healthcare....
Yep yep. I guess I hadn't fully appreciated how much this had trickled down to the college level, because my oldest daughter wasn't reporting anything like this. But she didn't rush, and maybe that's part of why she's not seeing it yet.
Ozempic/Wegovy may have made it easier, but sorority life was always obsessively focused on thinness. I remember articles about sorority sisters marking up each other's bodies with black markers to shame any cellulite or fat. And not just for rush! It's always been a toxic competition for status and (preppy) male attention, and those things are interpreted at most campuses to be blondeness and thinness.
Thank you for writing this. It is painful to read with a daughter in college who is strong and a healthy weight and is asking about GLP1s. I feel such outrage and understanding. This "miracle pill" is revealing so much - and for some nothing at all - about our cultural obsession with the size of women's bodies.
These meds can be absolutely life- and health-changing, and I'm so glad to hear they've helped you. Frankly, I think we're at the very beginning of understanding of what they'll be able to do. I just think we've got to move past the focus on size as the ultimate determinant of our value.
Loved reading your take on that article, which I too was fascinated and horrified by in equal parts. I totally agree that it's tragic that the mom's are so involved. We need such a cultural shift to change this and I don't see that happening any time soon.
I have an essay about how I was given dexatrim before 9th grade by my mom. That was 45 years ago. I’ll be posting it as part of my narration I’m doing in the upcoming weeks and months. I found yours brought me right back to that time if my life
This is very disturbing and makes my heart ache. I have 2 daughters currently in college and thankfully this is not what they've been seeing or experiencing...granted they both "rushed" community-service oriented sororities rather than traditional ones. But, in general they're not seeing this - at least yet - on their campuses.
Jenny, I'm so glad to hear it! That article was a hard read, especially as I look ahead to my youngest entering college. My middle child is in her last year of her undergrad degree, and she's seen some of this, but not quite as overt as the culture described in the piece. I really hope your daughters’ experience is more representative of what’s happening on most campuses.
The piece about the moms really grabbed my attention, too. Ugh I thought sending my kids to college I’d be most worried about powders and pill… shots, too, apparently. I would have been so vulnerable to this at a college student.
That’s something I hadn’t even thought about … if this had been around in my day. I probably would have been one of those people who looked down on people who weren’t losing weight the right way through diet and exercise. Except I WAS one of those people. I ate well, I exercised and still thought I was too big. And still I thought I was so superior people who didn’t workout. It’s so messed up when I think about it now.
We were all brainwashed but also so young and naive… and just trying to blend/fit in. It is deeply sad and worrisome that we’re still here in society not to mention college. But also of course we are. But not all of us, and thanks to writing like yours, maybe others will feel less alone and realize there are other ways.
Wow. This was an eye-opening read. I didn't go to university in the US, but I have often seen the diet culture/ fat-shaming in TV shows about college students. We're in very strange times yet again, where thinness is again being sensationalised at another very dangerous cost. These young women have not even reached their potential yet. Not to compare dieting methods, but there is so much danger in off-market drugs and even the use of GLP-1s without proper guidance. I pray that these situations are uncovered and those affected get the right support!
I love that you write about body image and it’s ever-present impact on most women. Sadly, it’s nothing new- I was in college more than 40 years ago when cigarettes, coffee, cocaine, and various forms of speed were used to curb the appetite to stay thin. “Nice” girls in the “top” sororities did lots of coke.
I’m not surprised that some moms encourage the prescription weight loss solutions, seeing it as safer than some alternatives that they may have used when on their own quest to be accepted into a looks-focused group.
This is interesting. Thank you for sharing. Somehow the group I hung out with never did any hard stuff. I guess I should count my blessings.
Your point is correct, though, this is just the latest iteration of what we’ve been doing for a long time.
What makes me the saddest is that it seems to get linked to self worth. And since I’m almost 62 years old I can tell you that while it is possible to overcome this, there are still things that will trigger the desire to be thinner for the rest of your life. I wish I could have back the years I spent hating my body and looking for external validation in all the wrong ways. I would love to tell the young people just how beautiful they are and how much more they are than a size or number on a scale. And how much food they need and muscle and how to protect their bones. And to enjoy life and school and sports and to fuel themselves and nourish their bodies and souls.
I agree with every single point you made here! I wish more women with the benefit of years and perspective would sing this at the top of their lungs!! So many of us need to hear it.
We all knew this was coming, right? Those of us who know about eating disorders personally and/or professionally saw the writing on the wall once these drugs were available online and marketed *relentlessly* to everyone, all day long. And yet we were accused of fear-mongering or somehow trying to gatekeep access to healthcare....
Yep yep. I guess I hadn't fully appreciated how much this had trickled down to the college level, because my oldest daughter wasn't reporting anything like this. But she didn't rush, and maybe that's part of why she's not seeing it yet.
I have been hearing about this from counselors in high schools, too.
I wasn’t expecting that, but I guess I should have been.
It's so grim. I often wonder if I would have tried to get these drugs when I was a teen.... (something I might need to write about)
Ozempic/Wegovy may have made it easier, but sorority life was always obsessively focused on thinness. I remember articles about sorority sisters marking up each other's bodies with black markers to shame any cellulite or fat. And not just for rush! It's always been a toxic competition for status and (preppy) male attention, and those things are interpreted at most campuses to be blondeness and thinness.
Thank you for writing this. It is painful to read with a daughter in college who is strong and a healthy weight and is asking about GLP1s. I feel such outrage and understanding. This "miracle pill" is revealing so much - and for some nothing at all - about our cultural obsession with the size of women's bodies.
My heart breaks for the kids and young adults having to navigate this.
Fuck sororities. I ignored all that and concentrated on things that matter.
These meds are for people like me, who did need to lose significant weight. I lost 90 pounds and I’m a big fan of these medications.
But side 8 isn’t fat. I’m a size 6-8 and am very pleased to be so!
These meds can be absolutely life- and health-changing, and I'm so glad to hear they've helped you. Frankly, I think we're at the very beginning of understanding of what they'll be able to do. I just think we've got to move past the focus on size as the ultimate determinant of our value.
Loved reading your take on that article, which I too was fascinated and horrified by in equal parts. I totally agree that it's tragic that the mom's are so involved. We need such a cultural shift to change this and I don't see that happening any time soon.
I have an essay about how I was given dexatrim before 9th grade by my mom. That was 45 years ago. I’ll be posting it as part of my narration I’m doing in the upcoming weeks and months. I found yours brought me right back to that time if my life
Please drop us a link here when you publish it!
Kristi thank you so very, very much for writing this exceptional article. Your insight and honesty is amazing.
Thank so much. It really means a lot coming from you and the work you're doing!
This is very disturbing and makes my heart ache. I have 2 daughters currently in college and thankfully this is not what they've been seeing or experiencing...granted they both "rushed" community-service oriented sororities rather than traditional ones. But, in general they're not seeing this - at least yet - on their campuses.
Jenny, I'm so glad to hear it! That article was a hard read, especially as I look ahead to my youngest entering college. My middle child is in her last year of her undergrad degree, and she's seen some of this, but not quite as overt as the culture described in the piece. I really hope your daughters’ experience is more representative of what’s happening on most campuses.
The piece about the moms really grabbed my attention, too. Ugh I thought sending my kids to college I’d be most worried about powders and pill… shots, too, apparently. I would have been so vulnerable to this at a college student.
That’s something I hadn’t even thought about … if this had been around in my day. I probably would have been one of those people who looked down on people who weren’t losing weight the right way through diet and exercise. Except I WAS one of those people. I ate well, I exercised and still thought I was too big. And still I thought I was so superior people who didn’t workout. It’s so messed up when I think about it now.
We were all brainwashed but also so young and naive… and just trying to blend/fit in. It is deeply sad and worrisome that we’re still here in society not to mention college. But also of course we are. But not all of us, and thanks to writing like yours, maybe others will feel less alone and realize there are other ways.
Wow. This was an eye-opening read. I didn't go to university in the US, but I have often seen the diet culture/ fat-shaming in TV shows about college students. We're in very strange times yet again, where thinness is again being sensationalised at another very dangerous cost. These young women have not even reached their potential yet. Not to compare dieting methods, but there is so much danger in off-market drugs and even the use of GLP-1s without proper guidance. I pray that these situations are uncovered and those affected get the right support!