Taking Small Steps and Savoring the Victories

Today is a day to celebrate.

Yesterday, I finished an early draft of the chapter I am contributing to “Show Your Work,” which is publishing this spring, about the struggles and hard work behind the successes of 13 courageous women. As someone who has spent her entire life stuffing down feelings, every step of this process feels like peeling off a layer of skin. It’s soul-baring. Terrifying. 

Sitting at my laptop yesterday in the airy, light-filled space of my home office, also known as my kitchen, I had to take a deep breath before I hit the share button so that my fellow authors could take a peek at what I’ve written and provide suggestions. You would think someone who has spent her entire life in publishing wouldn’t have this level of fear, but my work has rarely been this personal. It’s all about taking brave steps here.  

My chapter is covering a lot of territory — quitting a job, quitting diets, facing fears and facing a child’s life-threatening illness. There has been a lot of darkness but also dawn. As part of my writing, I’ve been reflecting on the last six months and how far we’ve come. I say we, because it was my daughter’s illness, or rather her relapse, that changed the course of my life. My desire to help her gave me the courage to heal my relationship with food and embark on this brave new career. 

Yesterday, in many ways, felt like coming full circle. Not only did I turn in the draft, I had video calls with my daughter’s psychiatrist and dietician. As I relayed all the progress she has made, the dietician remarked how it must feel so good to be able to say this, given how serious things were just six months ago. We now have a person who is happy, healthy, full of life. After I got off the calls, it was my daughter’s turn. I left to make dinner, but every now again, I could hear her peels of laughter at whatever story she was telling. 

So here we are. I’m savoring the small victories.

For the next two weeks, I will be in the thick of revisions for “Show Your Work,” and that will take priority over this newsletter. My Substack audience is still tiny, so hopefully those of you reading here will forgive me.