Thinking About Freedom—What Does It Mean to You?
Thanks for reading Almost Sated, a newsletter about the messy process of detoxing from diets and diet culture and the personal growth that comes from it. If you like what you’re reading, please consider subscribing and sharing! It’s free to join, and subscribing ensures you never miss a post. On Mondays, I round up the most interesting reads and listens from the last week.
I’m still playing catchup from vacation (and frankly still sleep deprived from the time shift), so I spent Sunday morning reading. I find so much inspiration in other people’s writing and perspectives, and
’s post from is full of ponderings, but she pulled a card for herself and those reading, which I love, and up came the Freedom card.When I saw the word, it was like a lightning bolt came out of the laptop and struck me between the eyes. I had such an immediate, visceral reaction that I read nothing else about the card and what it means.
You see, I’ve been struggling for months with so many life changes, and I thought I knew the reason for those changes, but seeing the word freedom, it hit me—the reasons for my struggles are deeper and make complete sense.
When I was a child, I dreamed big, bigger than those I grew up with. And while it was never glamorous, studying newspaper journalism and then actually becoming a journalist felt like living that dream, or at least taking the first step. Sure, there were times of rut and boredom in the newsroom, but when I look back on it now, what I remember most is how exciting it was. Every day, I was having interesting conversations with people who were paid to think about and react to what was happening in the world. It was a privilege to surround myself with so many talented people, and when I left the newspaper for marketing, I realized part of the reason I never thought I was very good at my job was because I had been surrounded by so many extraordinarily high-caliber people. It now saddens me to see that some of my former colleagues with so much talent are struggling to find work.
As the daughter of a butcher and a stay-at-home mother, I never wanted to struggle how my parents did. Because of that, my wishes were always in conflict. I wanted the freedom to pursue my dreams, but I wanted security even more, so I chose the safe bets over the gambles for much of my life. And it got me to a certain level of success but never truly living the life of my dreams.
A year ago, I decided to pursue my dream of becoming a full-time writer (although I’m still not quite there yet), and it truly has been the scariest decision of my life. I went out on that limb and dared to dream big and found that it is lonely and isolating and hard. Every day is hustling and putting yourself out there and risking failure and rejection. It’s vulnerable and humbling.
I question everything I write, I question everything I do. I know from my years of experience in content marketing that it takes years to build audience and brand, but when it’s your own audience and brand you’re seeking and pouring your heart into, it’s different. It’s life or death. Your life or death. It feels like a personal reflection on you and your work, when the reality is there are so many other factors influencing who sees, let alone reads, your work.
The fact that I’m pursuing my dream now makes me an outlier. Hence, the isolation and loneliness. But here’s the deal: Most of us live with tethers of our own making. We get lost in what we should do or what we’re told to do. When faced with choice, we get paralyzed by fear—sometimes of failure but often of simply making the wrong decision. So often we stay locked in the ho hum, politely following along with the masses and shelving the big dreams.
Today, I have much more freedom than I have ever had and more freedom than most people will experience. Yes, it’s a positive to have that level of freedom. And, yes, I recognize my privilege. But it comes with its own set of challenges, like which way to go next.
With freedom, you have many options. And having so many options can at times be overwhelming, especially if that’s not how you’re used to living.
“May you move toward freedom, whatever that means to you. Honor yourself by getting very clear on WHAT that looks like so your brain has the ability to recognize it when it shows up (this part is based on the science of neuroplasticity). Remember good fortune tends to follow hard work so action must be taken to achieve freedom, it will not land in your lap. When you become unstuck, achieve your goal, or find treasure be sure to notice it and hold that goodness in your brain, that’s how it will get rewired. Give thanks. Sing out to the heavens in appreciation…just like I am right now.” —Donna McArthur
That lightning bolt was the realization that I no longer have to live the way I used to, but I still have to adjust to living this new way. The lightning bolt was the realization that this difficult time I’ve been going through is simply a transition.
For me, freedom means more choices, the ability to move with fewer restraints or limitations, to break free of expectations. What does it mean to you?
When Supermodels Ruled the World
of did another one of her amazing pieces, sharing her insights as the former editor of British Elle. This time, she’s revisiting the original supermodels, and if you don’t know who I’m talking about, then you didn’t live through the ‘90s (or you lived under a rock). While I would have loved to have heard more of her thoughts on the new Vogue cover with Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford and Linda Evangelista, which has been roundly criticized for photoshopping the life out of these women, she takes a step back to examine just what made the supermodels so powerful.
“Ironically what the original Supers did was demonstrate the very modern idea that women succeed when they stick together. They proved that what was actually more powerful than beauty alone, was authenticity, genuine female friendship and eye-watering transparency when it comes to money and success. Which in today’s world, makes them a very rare breed indeed.” —Farrah Starr
Challenging Set Point Weight Theory
I mentioned briefly in my post last week that I was struggling for the first half of my vacation to Maui (which is now facing its own devastation). Moving to a more remote part of the island helped me “right” the ship of my negative thoughts, and so did this post from
of that takes aim at set point weight theory, or rather urges us to at least consider that it’s only one piece of a very complicated puzzle. I read it one morning over a solo breakfast, and it was this paragraph that really helped me.“If you look around when you are out shopping, or just around people, our bodies vary wildly. We are supposed to vary. That is normal. And I don’t think it is out of the question to speculate that most fat people are supposed to be fat. I say “most” because we cannot say that all people are supposed to be fat (I would never encourage intentional weight loss). Like people of any size are just supposed to be what they weigh. That variation is normal. If it wasn’t for the anti fat research that assumes that fat=bad/unhealthy, we would be just able to live life.” —Jeannette Thompson-Wessen
I’ll share more about what I learned on that trip soon, but one of my big takeaways was that representation matters. I know, I know, we hear this all the time as it relates to people who are underrepresented or discriminated against, and it makes sense. I understood it in theory, but I didn’t really understand it until I personally needed it.
Why You Need a Life Journey
of included a link to this post from about why you need a life journey recently, and it tracks along with my thoughts above on freedom and stagnation. “You must have something powerful enough to help you find the exit, to dare into the dark recesses of yourself, to deal with others, and to keep going even when the circumstances are not favorable to you. You must have the courage to leave what others proclaim to be a sure thing when you know that it isn’t something that you personally want to do.” —Youtopian Journey
The argument here is that if you don’t have a larger purpose—you're why—it’s easy to spend your life lost in a maze—and not one of your own making.
Here’s to getting out of the maze!
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"Every day, I was having interesting conversations with people who were paid to think about and react to what was happening in the world."
I love this outlook, and that's a big reason why I want to be here. I mean, not everyone's paid to think about the world, but many of us aspire to be paid to do that.
I feel viscerally the parting of the ways in the woods. I feel the plurality of paralysis from too many decisions all the time, and try to simplify things by limiting my focus (that's my 2023 goal in a nutshell). It's not an easy path, but conformity isn't really easy either, and it sucks a lot worse in other ways than carving your own path.
This is what success feels like: a big old mess! But it's better than the mess we'd have under different circumstances, and we should never forget that the grass is always greener. My "normie" friends have all sorts of problems I don't have, and plenty of the same types of problems.
Often I think the only wrong decision is no decision. Clearly, this isn't true in all cases but, as you say Kristi, remaining stuck because we cannot choose is a drag. This is how autopilot sneaks up on us and we stay in the rut. I love that the Freedom card was meant for you in such a meaningful way and thank you so much for your reference to my post❤
Farrah's comment about women sticking together hits home for me. That is one of the things I've loved so much about the Substack community - the sense of community support (not only women .helping women but everyone).