‘Naturally thin’ is the fantasy sold to us, but even those who fit the mold feel the pressure to be thinner. For the rest of us, restriction has become so normalized we don’t even call it dieting anymore. But here’s the kicker: diets don’t fail us—they’re designed to fail. Restrict, rebound, repeat. The cycle isn’t about willpower; it’s about a culture obsessed with shrinking us at any cost. Isn’t it time we all stopped playing the game?
I agree that so much of the pursuit of thinness is about belonging and enoughness. The Barbie monologue quote hits the nail on the head. I wish we had more studies on the negative health impacts of fixating on shrinking. We do have plenty of compelling research on the harmful physical effects of weight cycling, but it remains one of the dieting industry’s best kept secrets. My journey parallels yours, and your writing makes me feel seen. Thank you.
Thank you, Jill. I agree with you. I would love to see more studies on the impact of weight cycling and weight stigma. I think the results would be truly alarming.
“This shame and blame drives the diet industry, eating disorders, disordered eating, and our so-called “obesity epidemic.” Without them, I don’t think we’d engage in these restrictive, harmful behaviors. We’d define health beyond appearance.
Yes, some of us would still be bigger than others. Some would be smaller. But it wouldn’t be a moral failing. It would just be how bodies are. “
AMEN! I wish that our collective rising awareness could finally change the narrative around what makes a body good or acceptable. As someone who has struggled with disordered eating since I was a teenager, I know healing is not linear. Continuing to press forward despite slipping back in times of stress or during a dip in self esteem feels possible when I read about others experiences. Thank you for the important work you do!
I do too! And I really don't understand why it's so hard or why there needs to be so much anger and hatred toward those in larger sizes (that's the part that is most puzzling to me).
And even with your slips, as an inclusive personal trainer, you're modeling what a better relationship with your body looks like.
This is such a beautiful post and just so incredibly important. I am so sorry you had to travel through the pain of caring for your daughters having eating disorders, and I am wowed by the honor and love you are showing them by going on this journey yourself. Such a beautiful way to heal your family. I really appreciate you putting this out into the world. ❤️
Society's expectations are enough to make someone want to go punk! This is why I put a safety pin through my eyebrow all those years ago: I wanted nothing to do with a society that told us how to behave or look or act, particularly when that directive served no practical purpose.
Looking and acting how you want is a pretty solid middle finger to some of the nonsense out there, and I stand behind this every time.
Thank you for acknowledging the reality that diets don't work for everyone. I haven't watched the documentary you mentioned, but it sounds like it might have made the same mistake so many make: failing to acknowledge that you can diet and exercise your heart out and still be fat. The reality is that the body is biologically designed to fight back against perceived starvation. So even if it doesn't spark a starve/binge cycle, the weight will still come back or potentially not even come off in the first place. I've been on Mounjaro (marketed as the weight loss drug Zepbound) for two years for type 2 diabetes. I take a pretty high dose and eat significantly less than before, yet in two years, I've only lost about 10 pounds on the drug. That's not surprising for me because I spent my teens and early 20s struggling with atypical anorexia, which is only "atypical" because those who have it don't look emaciated. But the reality is that there are far more with atypical anorexia than "typical." (I think the stats are something like 85%). So my situation is hardly unique, and when people say, "just eat less and move more," it can be so triggering because I was literally starving myself and was still fat by medical standards. That's not to say people who eat more or are sendentary should be judged for their choices since thin people are never. But I really wish it would start to be acknowledged that intentional weight loss is a losing (ha, ha) battle for most people. And it's not because we're eating too much. It's just the way our bodies are made. Even Novo Nordisk (the maker of Ozenpic/Wegovy) knows this. Their own studies show that, firstly people don't tend to lose a huge amount on their drug (the average is 12-14 pounds, which means many loose a lot less). But even for people who stay on their drug, any weight they lost starts to rebound after two years. This often happens with bariatric patients too. Combine this with the reality that there are vastly more people with atypical anorexia than typical, and it means people can't usually keep weight off even if they stay "on the diet." The evidence is literally staring us in the face, yet the medical community continues to not acknowledge this reality, and it continues to perpetuate stigma in culture at large. (Personally, I think it's all motivated by capitalism, but that's another convo. Lol)
Sarah, I feel everything you're saying here. Every time I hear some variation of "calories in, calories out," it makes me want to scream. There are millions of people who have spent years following this advice, doing all of the "right" things, but it just doesn't work. And it's not that we aren't trying hard enough.
I'm glad you mentioned GLP-1s for diabetes. I didn't tackle it in the piece, but what makes the situation with these medications even more heartbreaking is they can be life-saving for those with type 2 diabetes, and because of shortages, the people who need them most can't get them. And you bring up a really great point. We know these meds don't work for everyone. That's what makes the increased weight stigma even more dangerous. What about the people who use the meds and still don't lose? Is it still their fault?
Big hugs to you for mentioning your struggle with atypical anorexia. The vast majority of people don't understand the concept that you can be overweight and effectively starving, because you're not getting enough to eat for your body or the right nutrients for your body. And the dangers of eating disorders are still vastly under recognized, even for those who "look like" they're sick, but especially when they don't. People need to hear this. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental health condition right now, second only to opioids. The misconception that eating disorders only affect thin people is preventing countless people from seeking help or even realizing that they’re struggling.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and your story—it’s so important to that we challenge these standards in order to make space for a broader understanding of health and size. Our personal stories have power!
I have been fighting with atypical anorexia for 24 years. Last year I entered treatment. At this point I am unequivocally fat, after zillions of starvation cycles. I’m now bigger than I’ve ever been and I hear it from family and everywhere about diet exercise ozempic blah de blah blah.
I think at this point my body just assumes I’m going to starve it sooner or later. I tease and call it “apocalypse prepared” but it’s still a huge fight with myself to feed myself adequately.
After being a size 14/16 for years I got myself to 10 and stayed that way for 4 years. Pre kids I was 8, wedding dress was a 6. Now I’m a 22. I’m really really struggling with this new reality and it’s hard for me to get rid of the idea of dieting and getting smaller. My “big” carhartt didn’t go around me the other day and I was HORRIFIED. I wore it fine last year. I’m also hot all the time and logically I’m sure it’s perimenopause, but part of me says “it’s because you’re fat”. Which is ridiculous. I doubt seals for example are “hot”. I’m sure they just feel comfortable. These are the things I think, sitting very scantily clad on my back porch at 1am when it’s 28*F and the dogs decided they gotta pee. I’m like “take your time, just be quiet”.
Once my therapist asked me if I had any goal weight in mind, and stunned, after a bit I said “no. No weight would be low enough. I’d just get there and want to go lower”.
I want to add on. In my family growing up, it was funny to fat shame. Once we got larger jeans for my mom and she stuffed them with pillows and puffed her cheeks *and we took pictures* and it was all sooooooo funny. She would say “wide ends collide!” at the store, or if you bumped into each other with hips/butt. Disordered eating was modeled to me (my brother saw it certainly, but he was encouraged and modeled by my dad to consume as much food as he felt he wanted). I was once yanked aside at a barbecue when I was 12 and told “young ladies do NOT eat like that!!!!” because I’d had 2 hotdogs, and later I went to get a burger. I was playing croquet with my aunt, and I don’t suppose people normally run, but WE were. Playing with her was cutthroat, and I was growing and hungry. Evidently I consumed what seemed a vast amount of food when I was growing, because there were many comments from many sources throughout.
Looking back, I’m willing to bet my brother ate all that and more. I’m 5’10 and he’s 6’5” and we needed SUSTENANCE building that. Nobody ever said diddly shit about what or how much HE ate.
So, really disordered eating my whole life, (salad plates! ONE small portion no matter how hungry you are! Drink water! You’re thirsty, not hungry! Do it before you eat! Exercise constantly! Do not EVER sit and be still! At least Be Productive! And on and on and ON). I don’t think I hit actual ED until I had my first babe, then it tipped over into full on starvation dieting. At its worst, I wasn’t eating anything for days, then I’d have a handful of nuts or grapes, and go again for days. I cannot STAND when people recommend “intermittent fasting” to me. Folks, I AM STILL FAT. I still can’t stop thinking that every time I stopped starving, I reset my body’s “set weight” higher. Like if I don’t stop doing this, I’ll be Blueberry Girl (you know, Willy Wonka), but if I don’t diet, I’ll never be smaller. My brain, it aches.
Kristi, This piece--this essay--it's brilliant. I so, so needed to read this right now and I feel the need to turn to it in my own Substack so thank you for giving me so much to explore. Weight gain, the weight loss drug industry that's the latest dangerous ripple in our society's obsession with thin bodies, body acceptance--it is all very present for me, too, in this 64 year old menopausal body that eats healthy, moves a reasonable amount, and yet has regained all the weight I lost in 2022 and then some (in 2022, the weight I lost was around the agonizing decision to leave my marriage, it was also after I gave up alcohol and followed specific "diets," which like you I no longer want any part of--diets, that is. As I reflect on my life, and attitudes around weight, I see the times I was thinner I was most unhappy, starving myself for the perceived attractiveness to others, particularly a boy, and then as I grew older, a man who would find me attractive. Which of course equated to thinness, relative thinness. Ah, there is so much to this essay that I appreciated, and thanks for all the references and links and I will check out the NY Times documentary. To your questions, I will say, yes, my relationship to my body is complicated and I doubt there is any girl or woman in our society who would say otherwise, if she is honest. Diet culture has been extremely destructive to my relationship to myself over the years. Through a lot of inner work these past two years I have come into far greater love and acceptance for myself. I now know that diet culture and obsession with my weight is detrimental to that journey. Knowing that doesn't mean I can stop obsessing, that I am immune to the diet culture (there's a harmful exercise culture, too, as you have experienced). "Relearning to trust my body and listen to its signals...to love myself as I am." Yes! No more important, heroic work than that. Also, you are glowing in that photo and look so beautiful! You radiate a woman who owns her beauty.
Amy, thank you for your kind words! Kudos to you for doing the work to get to a better place with your body. Even if you're not there yet, it's good to know you are in a much better place than you were. And please feel free to use this for inspiration or whatever you need right now for your readers.
Your newsletter is such a lifeline for me. I feel ALL of this! About four months ago, I saw a picture of myself from my niece's birthday party. I looked HUGE. It sent me into a spiral, and I immediately made an appt with my doctor to talk about going on Zepbound. She gave me the prescription, but my insurance didn't cover it, and I didn't have the mental capacity to fight them, so I didn't get it. The long-term effects scare me and I already have so many health issues that I don't know if I want to add more just to lose weight. I have PCOS and it feels like such an uphill battle.
Once I'm moved to Virginia, I really want to focus on eating intuitively and accepting my body. I'm so TIRED of focusing so much of my energy on how I look and my weight! I have so many other things I want to be doing!!!
Melissa, I'm so touched to hear this. You and every single person who has reached out here is a lifeline for me too. You have no idea how terrifying it was to actually hit publish on this piece, and part of it is because of just how much it flies in the face of accepted behavior and cultural norms. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much already with your body and hoping you find the beginnings of peace with it in this new year.
I was just thinking about this recently because even though I'm at a higher body weight then when I was at my ridiculously thinnest just a few years ago, I feel so much better. I have more energy and more capacity overall. I'm also not spending time being obsessed with everything that I eat. I'm learning to feel comfortable where I am now and it's hard but I'm doing it. I try to find areas of my body that I love instead of focusing on the places that I don't.
For me it wasn't about the number on the scale it was about feeling heavy and weighted down. I wanted to feel light. Once I realized all of those thoughts were coming from my head and not my body I started cleaning things up emotionally and mentally. I didn't realize how much stress and self- criticism was weighing me down.
You look beautiful! And overall everything that you've done to get yourself to this mental space is so much better than a quick fix that may have not been the right choice for you.
Thank you, Shelby! I wish more women knew they could have the exact same experience you're having with your body. It is hard to get there. We are programmed to think exactly the opposite, but once we realize how much of body image is within our control, it's incredibly liberating. And it does take work, and we aren't always happy with ourselves, and that's okay.
For me, just extending a little more kindness toward myself was a game changer. And then one day, I was sort of like, well, what would happen if I accepted myself a little more. And then one day I realized, holy shit, most of the bad thoughts in my head about myself are completely made up. What if I just started believing something else?
That's a perfect description of how it happens. Now that I'm out of The Matrix I can see it so clearly what I was doing to myself. I still slip but I'm over all better for it. I didn't really have a choice... it had gotten so bad but I'm an extreme kind of gal so I needed that to see the light finally.
It took a doctors visit with my almost 80 year old mother, a former dancer with now brittle bones and considered in the risk zone of being under-nourished but still saying ‘I can’t start drinking protein shakes (like the dr suggested) - they’ll make me gain weight’ - to finally snap out of my own obsessive relationship with my weight and size and yoyo dieting. No more. Life is too short. I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to eat.
I had a binging disorder for years. Binge free now for 15 years. Society =success if you lose weight. But letting go of being 125. And being 140 was the healthiest thing I ever did.
I am so upset about ozempic. I think once again, society makes it seem that the worse thing you could be is overweight. Sigh.
‘Naturally thin’ is the fantasy sold to us, but even those who fit the mold feel the pressure to be thinner. For the rest of us, restriction has become so normalized we don’t even call it dieting anymore. But here’s the kicker: diets don’t fail us—they’re designed to fail. Restrict, rebound, repeat. The cycle isn’t about willpower; it’s about a culture obsessed with shrinking us at any cost. Isn’t it time we all stopped playing the game?
I could not have said it better!
“I often wonder now how it might look today if I had never dieted—if I had simply been allowed to exist without shame.” Same.
I agree that so much of the pursuit of thinness is about belonging and enoughness. The Barbie monologue quote hits the nail on the head. I wish we had more studies on the negative health impacts of fixating on shrinking. We do have plenty of compelling research on the harmful physical effects of weight cycling, but it remains one of the dieting industry’s best kept secrets. My journey parallels yours, and your writing makes me feel seen. Thank you.
Thank you, Jill. I agree with you. I would love to see more studies on the impact of weight cycling and weight stigma. I think the results would be truly alarming.
“This shame and blame drives the diet industry, eating disorders, disordered eating, and our so-called “obesity epidemic.” Without them, I don’t think we’d engage in these restrictive, harmful behaviors. We’d define health beyond appearance.
Yes, some of us would still be bigger than others. Some would be smaller. But it wouldn’t be a moral failing. It would just be how bodies are. “
AMEN! I wish that our collective rising awareness could finally change the narrative around what makes a body good or acceptable. As someone who has struggled with disordered eating since I was a teenager, I know healing is not linear. Continuing to press forward despite slipping back in times of stress or during a dip in self esteem feels possible when I read about others experiences. Thank you for the important work you do!
I do too! And I really don't understand why it's so hard or why there needs to be so much anger and hatred toward those in larger sizes (that's the part that is most puzzling to me).
And even with your slips, as an inclusive personal trainer, you're modeling what a better relationship with your body looks like.
This is such a beautiful post and just so incredibly important. I am so sorry you had to travel through the pain of caring for your daughters having eating disorders, and I am wowed by the honor and love you are showing them by going on this journey yourself. Such a beautiful way to heal your family. I really appreciate you putting this out into the world. ❤️
Thank you, Bridget. This is hard stuff to put out there, but it's so important to me. I wish none of us had to go through it.
Society's expectations are enough to make someone want to go punk! This is why I put a safety pin through my eyebrow all those years ago: I wanted nothing to do with a society that told us how to behave or look or act, particularly when that directive served no practical purpose.
Looking and acting how you want is a pretty solid middle finger to some of the nonsense out there, and I stand behind this every time.
Thank you, my friend. It's cool to be surrounded by so many fellow punks.
My favorites are perimenopunx! Naw, but "middle age" or whatever we are is a great time to revisit our rebellious roots. <3
Perimenopunx! It's a mouthful, but I love it!
“Body acceptance is a radical act” YES! And it’s hard! You bring this to life so well here. Thank you thank you
Thank you, Eliza. Doing my best here.
Thank you for acknowledging the reality that diets don't work for everyone. I haven't watched the documentary you mentioned, but it sounds like it might have made the same mistake so many make: failing to acknowledge that you can diet and exercise your heart out and still be fat. The reality is that the body is biologically designed to fight back against perceived starvation. So even if it doesn't spark a starve/binge cycle, the weight will still come back or potentially not even come off in the first place. I've been on Mounjaro (marketed as the weight loss drug Zepbound) for two years for type 2 diabetes. I take a pretty high dose and eat significantly less than before, yet in two years, I've only lost about 10 pounds on the drug. That's not surprising for me because I spent my teens and early 20s struggling with atypical anorexia, which is only "atypical" because those who have it don't look emaciated. But the reality is that there are far more with atypical anorexia than "typical." (I think the stats are something like 85%). So my situation is hardly unique, and when people say, "just eat less and move more," it can be so triggering because I was literally starving myself and was still fat by medical standards. That's not to say people who eat more or are sendentary should be judged for their choices since thin people are never. But I really wish it would start to be acknowledged that intentional weight loss is a losing (ha, ha) battle for most people. And it's not because we're eating too much. It's just the way our bodies are made. Even Novo Nordisk (the maker of Ozenpic/Wegovy) knows this. Their own studies show that, firstly people don't tend to lose a huge amount on their drug (the average is 12-14 pounds, which means many loose a lot less). But even for people who stay on their drug, any weight they lost starts to rebound after two years. This often happens with bariatric patients too. Combine this with the reality that there are vastly more people with atypical anorexia than typical, and it means people can't usually keep weight off even if they stay "on the diet." The evidence is literally staring us in the face, yet the medical community continues to not acknowledge this reality, and it continues to perpetuate stigma in culture at large. (Personally, I think it's all motivated by capitalism, but that's another convo. Lol)
Sarah, I feel everything you're saying here. Every time I hear some variation of "calories in, calories out," it makes me want to scream. There are millions of people who have spent years following this advice, doing all of the "right" things, but it just doesn't work. And it's not that we aren't trying hard enough.
I'm glad you mentioned GLP-1s for diabetes. I didn't tackle it in the piece, but what makes the situation with these medications even more heartbreaking is they can be life-saving for those with type 2 diabetes, and because of shortages, the people who need them most can't get them. And you bring up a really great point. We know these meds don't work for everyone. That's what makes the increased weight stigma even more dangerous. What about the people who use the meds and still don't lose? Is it still their fault?
Big hugs to you for mentioning your struggle with atypical anorexia. The vast majority of people don't understand the concept that you can be overweight and effectively starving, because you're not getting enough to eat for your body or the right nutrients for your body. And the dangers of eating disorders are still vastly under recognized, even for those who "look like" they're sick, but especially when they don't. People need to hear this. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental health condition right now, second only to opioids. The misconception that eating disorders only affect thin people is preventing countless people from seeking help or even realizing that they’re struggling.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and your story—it’s so important to that we challenge these standards in order to make space for a broader understanding of health and size. Our personal stories have power!
I have been fighting with atypical anorexia for 24 years. Last year I entered treatment. At this point I am unequivocally fat, after zillions of starvation cycles. I’m now bigger than I’ve ever been and I hear it from family and everywhere about diet exercise ozempic blah de blah blah.
I think at this point my body just assumes I’m going to starve it sooner or later. I tease and call it “apocalypse prepared” but it’s still a huge fight with myself to feed myself adequately.
After being a size 14/16 for years I got myself to 10 and stayed that way for 4 years. Pre kids I was 8, wedding dress was a 6. Now I’m a 22. I’m really really struggling with this new reality and it’s hard for me to get rid of the idea of dieting and getting smaller. My “big” carhartt didn’t go around me the other day and I was HORRIFIED. I wore it fine last year. I’m also hot all the time and logically I’m sure it’s perimenopause, but part of me says “it’s because you’re fat”. Which is ridiculous. I doubt seals for example are “hot”. I’m sure they just feel comfortable. These are the things I think, sitting very scantily clad on my back porch at 1am when it’s 28*F and the dogs decided they gotta pee. I’m like “take your time, just be quiet”.
Once my therapist asked me if I had any goal weight in mind, and stunned, after a bit I said “no. No weight would be low enough. I’d just get there and want to go lower”.
I want to add on. In my family growing up, it was funny to fat shame. Once we got larger jeans for my mom and she stuffed them with pillows and puffed her cheeks *and we took pictures* and it was all sooooooo funny. She would say “wide ends collide!” at the store, or if you bumped into each other with hips/butt. Disordered eating was modeled to me (my brother saw it certainly, but he was encouraged and modeled by my dad to consume as much food as he felt he wanted). I was once yanked aside at a barbecue when I was 12 and told “young ladies do NOT eat like that!!!!” because I’d had 2 hotdogs, and later I went to get a burger. I was playing croquet with my aunt, and I don’t suppose people normally run, but WE were. Playing with her was cutthroat, and I was growing and hungry. Evidently I consumed what seemed a vast amount of food when I was growing, because there were many comments from many sources throughout.
Looking back, I’m willing to bet my brother ate all that and more. I’m 5’10 and he’s 6’5” and we needed SUSTENANCE building that. Nobody ever said diddly shit about what or how much HE ate.
So, really disordered eating my whole life, (salad plates! ONE small portion no matter how hungry you are! Drink water! You’re thirsty, not hungry! Do it before you eat! Exercise constantly! Do not EVER sit and be still! At least Be Productive! And on and on and ON). I don’t think I hit actual ED until I had my first babe, then it tipped over into full on starvation dieting. At its worst, I wasn’t eating anything for days, then I’d have a handful of nuts or grapes, and go again for days. I cannot STAND when people recommend “intermittent fasting” to me. Folks, I AM STILL FAT. I still can’t stop thinking that every time I stopped starving, I reset my body’s “set weight” higher. Like if I don’t stop doing this, I’ll be Blueberry Girl (you know, Willy Wonka), but if I don’t diet, I’ll never be smaller. My brain, it aches.
I so feel you. *Hugs.* 🤗
❤️
Kristi, This piece--this essay--it's brilliant. I so, so needed to read this right now and I feel the need to turn to it in my own Substack so thank you for giving me so much to explore. Weight gain, the weight loss drug industry that's the latest dangerous ripple in our society's obsession with thin bodies, body acceptance--it is all very present for me, too, in this 64 year old menopausal body that eats healthy, moves a reasonable amount, and yet has regained all the weight I lost in 2022 and then some (in 2022, the weight I lost was around the agonizing decision to leave my marriage, it was also after I gave up alcohol and followed specific "diets," which like you I no longer want any part of--diets, that is. As I reflect on my life, and attitudes around weight, I see the times I was thinner I was most unhappy, starving myself for the perceived attractiveness to others, particularly a boy, and then as I grew older, a man who would find me attractive. Which of course equated to thinness, relative thinness. Ah, there is so much to this essay that I appreciated, and thanks for all the references and links and I will check out the NY Times documentary. To your questions, I will say, yes, my relationship to my body is complicated and I doubt there is any girl or woman in our society who would say otherwise, if she is honest. Diet culture has been extremely destructive to my relationship to myself over the years. Through a lot of inner work these past two years I have come into far greater love and acceptance for myself. I now know that diet culture and obsession with my weight is detrimental to that journey. Knowing that doesn't mean I can stop obsessing, that I am immune to the diet culture (there's a harmful exercise culture, too, as you have experienced). "Relearning to trust my body and listen to its signals...to love myself as I am." Yes! No more important, heroic work than that. Also, you are glowing in that photo and look so beautiful! You radiate a woman who owns her beauty.
Amy, thank you for your kind words! Kudos to you for doing the work to get to a better place with your body. Even if you're not there yet, it's good to know you are in a much better place than you were. And please feel free to use this for inspiration or whatever you need right now for your readers.
Your newsletter is such a lifeline for me. I feel ALL of this! About four months ago, I saw a picture of myself from my niece's birthday party. I looked HUGE. It sent me into a spiral, and I immediately made an appt with my doctor to talk about going on Zepbound. She gave me the prescription, but my insurance didn't cover it, and I didn't have the mental capacity to fight them, so I didn't get it. The long-term effects scare me and I already have so many health issues that I don't know if I want to add more just to lose weight. I have PCOS and it feels like such an uphill battle.
Once I'm moved to Virginia, I really want to focus on eating intuitively and accepting my body. I'm so TIRED of focusing so much of my energy on how I look and my weight! I have so many other things I want to be doing!!!
Melissa, I'm so touched to hear this. You and every single person who has reached out here is a lifeline for me too. You have no idea how terrifying it was to actually hit publish on this piece, and part of it is because of just how much it flies in the face of accepted behavior and cultural norms. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much already with your body and hoping you find the beginnings of peace with it in this new year.
Thank you, Kristi! Wishing you a joyful holiday season!
I was just thinking about this recently because even though I'm at a higher body weight then when I was at my ridiculously thinnest just a few years ago, I feel so much better. I have more energy and more capacity overall. I'm also not spending time being obsessed with everything that I eat. I'm learning to feel comfortable where I am now and it's hard but I'm doing it. I try to find areas of my body that I love instead of focusing on the places that I don't.
For me it wasn't about the number on the scale it was about feeling heavy and weighted down. I wanted to feel light. Once I realized all of those thoughts were coming from my head and not my body I started cleaning things up emotionally and mentally. I didn't realize how much stress and self- criticism was weighing me down.
You look beautiful! And overall everything that you've done to get yourself to this mental space is so much better than a quick fix that may have not been the right choice for you.
Thank you, Shelby! I wish more women knew they could have the exact same experience you're having with your body. It is hard to get there. We are programmed to think exactly the opposite, but once we realize how much of body image is within our control, it's incredibly liberating. And it does take work, and we aren't always happy with ourselves, and that's okay.
For me, just extending a little more kindness toward myself was a game changer. And then one day, I was sort of like, well, what would happen if I accepted myself a little more. And then one day I realized, holy shit, most of the bad thoughts in my head about myself are completely made up. What if I just started believing something else?
That's a perfect description of how it happens. Now that I'm out of The Matrix I can see it so clearly what I was doing to myself. I still slip but I'm over all better for it. I didn't really have a choice... it had gotten so bad but I'm an extreme kind of gal so I needed that to see the light finally.
As a fellow extremist, I totally relate. But it's pretty amazing how quickly the curtain can lift once we're ready.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable and important message. The picture of you is gorgeous!
Thank you, Donna 🙏
Kristi, this essay says it all ♥️
Thank you, Linn 🙏
It took a doctors visit with my almost 80 year old mother, a former dancer with now brittle bones and considered in the risk zone of being under-nourished but still saying ‘I can’t start drinking protein shakes (like the dr suggested) - they’ll make me gain weight’ - to finally snap out of my own obsessive relationship with my weight and size and yoyo dieting. No more. Life is too short. I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to eat.
Yes!! I'm celebrating this for you. Once you see how much damage this way of thinking has caused, it's hard to go back.
Bookmarking this for when I need it again (and I will)...
YES! I should do the same thing, because I will too ... that's just the nature of this beast.
I had a binging disorder for years. Binge free now for 15 years. Society =success if you lose weight. But letting go of being 125. And being 140 was the healthiest thing I ever did.
I am so upset about ozempic. I think once again, society makes it seem that the worse thing you could be is overweight. Sigh.
Couldn’t agree more. The marketing around these meds have set society back in so many ways.
Congrats to you on your recovery. That’s a huge accomplishment and you probably don’t get enough recognition for it.