💬 If you could describe menopause in a word, what would it be?
I asked a bunch of women and was blown away by the responses.
Last week, I posed this question on Substack Notes: If you could describe your experience with menopause in one word, what would it be?
Tumultuous. Hot. Total nightmare.
These were some of the responses I received. And also …
Heartbreaking. Bullshit. Bloody.
I was blown away by how much women were willing to share about their experiences in menopause—especially since I asked them to share just one word. It was heartbreaking to hear how much many of them have suffered.
I’m still early in my own journey, or at least it feels early, since I only recently connected the dots between my symptoms over the last couple of years and perimenopause. Yet, despite the challenges, it’s been a deeply liberating experience for me—a reclamation. I’ve quit diets, ditched hair dye, and redefined what health means for me—not by society’s standards, but on my own terms. I improved my relationships with my children, found the love of my life and even left my 9-to-5 job to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. Each step has gotten me closer to reclaiming my body, my mind, and my life from a society that tries to impose its standards and limits on me.
But let’s not sugarcoat it, menopause—and midlife for that matter—can be incredibly challenging. I wish I could say it’s not about suffering, but that would be both a lie and a slap in the face to the many women who’ve experienced otherwise.
For generations, women have suffered in silence, not getting the care and support they need. And too many women still suffer unnecessarily through menopause, largely because of how little we know about this stage of life.
There’s still a massive gap in medical research and our understanding of how women’s bodies work. And doctors, who receive minimal education on menopause to begin with, remain hesitant to prescribe hormone therapy. At least once a week, I see a post in the active menopause Facebook group I’m a part of from a woman who went to her doctor seeking treatment for menopausal symptoms, only to be denied hormone therapy. If she isn’t outright dismissed, she’s put on antidepressants instead. This aligns with a cross-sectional analysis of menopausal hormone therapy use between 1999 and 2020 that found just 4.7% of post-menopausal women were using hormone therapy in 2020, compared with 26.9% in 1990. To be clear, hormone therapy isn’t a panacea for all women, but it shouldn’t be this hard to get it.
A 2022 editorial in the Lancet called for an end to the “long-standing neglect of menopause and silence around it,” and thankfully things are beginning to shift.
We are witnessing the start of a menopause revolution.
Women are no longer staying silent. They’re coming together, supporting each other, and demanding more. Whether through increased media coverage, pushing for easier access to hormone therapy, or advocating for workplace support, women are changing the conversation.
“Menopause … is a major life event. It can be a time to reinvent one's life, relationships, and future goals with renewed vigour. Although many women have difficulties during menopause, many do not, and the discourse seldom allows women to report potential positive outcomes, such as freedom from menstruation and contraception.” — The Lancet
For me, just a few months into this journey, menopause has been a revelation. Finally, I’ve begun to understand the root of my symptoms and how to manage them. But I recognize that it’s a complex process—it won’t always be easy, and there are parts of it that scare me. Still, I’m choosing to view it as an opportunity for growth and liberation, a chance to reach my highest potential. Even the hard parts of menopause offer lessons worth learning and sharing.
Here’s a few of the responses I received to my original post:
Now it’s your turn. If you could describe your experience with menopause in one word, what would it be?
I stand with all my sisters when it comes to the pain, discomfort and turbulence caused by menopause but the word I'm going to go with is WISDOM. (Please do not tar and feather me all you gorgeous women!) As challenging as it is, and it damn well is, I think it's also an opportunity for women to show the world their hard earned wisdom that's come with doing all the things we've done to get to this point.
Fatigue, but I could go on. Thank you for sharing this.
Although I continue to work with different types of remedies to help improve my symptoms, I want society to understand that this is part of a woman’s life cycle. Giving grace to myself and to others is a good start to understanding this. Next… retirement options at the age of menopause with copious amounts of compensation. Lol