This is an art I really, really appreciate these days. It takes time to get good at this, but I've had a few years now to begin feeling comfortable with saying no to projects, collaborations, and even get-togethers. I still have to do a few things I don't want to do, and I still say yes to a hair too many things, but I think this is a "most improved" area for me over the last five or six years.
As I reply to these, I’m desperately sneaking away for a bike ride. We have finally got fall color-just a few days with blue skies and real red, orange and yellows leaves-and I feel them slipping away from me. I said no to the bike ride yesterday and that was the wrong call, so I’m off!
So much resonated in here for me Kristi. Particularly the pressure of feeling like you need to engage in diet talk if someone else begins with it in a way to simultaneously sooth them (indicating they're not alone) and also signal to them that I don't think I'm better than them because I have insecurities, too. It's a hard line to walk, grateful for your guidance!
Wow! Thank you for sharing this. This is where my Spock-like personality comes in handy. It had not occurred to me that the silence might be interpreted as superiority. It's so good to hear how other people feel in these situations.
Being more intentional about what we talk about and how we talk is such an important skill. You just showed me how it relates to everything -- life beyond diet talk. Thank you!
Thanks Kristi for including my meltdown post! Thanks also for this - I think I engage in diet talk without even thinking. It’s a really hard habit to break!
"...to be more deliberate in what I say yes to."
This is an art I really, really appreciate these days. It takes time to get good at this, but I've had a few years now to begin feeling comfortable with saying no to projects, collaborations, and even get-togethers. I still have to do a few things I don't want to do, and I still say yes to a hair too many things, but I think this is a "most improved" area for me over the last five or six years.
Right there with you.
As I reply to these, I’m desperately sneaking away for a bike ride. We have finally got fall color-just a few days with blue skies and real red, orange and yellows leaves-and I feel them slipping away from me. I said no to the bike ride yesterday and that was the wrong call, so I’m off!
I like it. Sometimes you have to say no to interacting on Substack, too!
So much resonated in here for me Kristi. Particularly the pressure of feeling like you need to engage in diet talk if someone else begins with it in a way to simultaneously sooth them (indicating they're not alone) and also signal to them that I don't think I'm better than them because I have insecurities, too. It's a hard line to walk, grateful for your guidance!
Wow! Thank you for sharing this. This is where my Spock-like personality comes in handy. It had not occurred to me that the silence might be interpreted as superiority. It's so good to hear how other people feel in these situations.
Being more intentional about what we talk about and how we talk is such an important skill. You just showed me how it relates to everything -- life beyond diet talk. Thank you!
Thanks Kristi for including my meltdown post! Thanks also for this - I think I engage in diet talk without even thinking. It’s a really hard habit to break!
I’m so happy you found it helpful! I also love how your husband shows up in so many of your posts.
So much richness here in humbly challenging the status quo of potentially harmful conversations!
Thank you so much!
Great post - thank you! & glad my confession resonated 🙏🏻
I’m looking forward to soaking up more of your wisdom!