61 Comments
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Joanna B.'s avatar

Yes! I felt huge in Japan in 2013 and was a size 10 at the time. I’m bigger now, but less triggered I think. Thanks for sharing!

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thank you for sharing your experience. I haven't made it to any Asian countries in my travels so far, but I bet it would be super interesting from a body image perspective!

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Cute Boots RocketCat's avatar

I felt fat in Paris when I was age 20 and a size 6…lotta smoking back then lol.

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Allison's avatar

I went to Bali while I was in the military. I was maybe an 8/10/12, depending on the brand and cut.

Went to get an airbrush tan so I wouldn’t be tempted to spend too much time in the sun right away, and laughed to myself when I realized the weight of the two women spraying me combined might not be much more than whatever I was at the time, maybe 160?

But I also grew up in PA, the state that makes the best potato chips, so there have always been people smaller than me😂

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Joanna B.'s avatar

Yes, Japanese women are tiiiiiiiiny.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Way to go! What a cool trip to take. And, you got to record your observations here for folks - this is a good one. Also, I appreciate the pics! I need to go to France.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thanks, Andrew. It was fun visiting a place I had dreamed about visiting as a child. I got the equivalent of a minor in French way back when but never really got to put it to practice, so it was fun doing a crash course in French again thanks to the Babbel app.

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Well done! I had 3 years of francais in middle and high school, but only the grammatical structure and maybe a few words really stuck. Still, that helped w/Latin and Portuguese, and now I want to go to France, Italy, and Portugal just to see if I can make sense of the language now after acclimating for a few days.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

I'm sure it would! I think my background in French made learning Spanish way easier (though I'm nowhere near proficient in either ... yet). I'd love to add Italian and Portuguese to the mix. You probably remember I visited Italy last summer, and I'll be heading to Portugal in July, which I'm super excited about!

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Andrew Smith's avatar

Yay! I am stoked for the trip to Portugal (vicariously). Let me know what to go see!

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Alison Zamora's avatar

Kristi! My experience in Paris mirrors your own. I’ve always had such a fabulous time. My only struggle is with the bathrooms — so tiny! 😳 For me, I don’t worry so much about what others will think about my body, it’s moreso that I’m on vacation and want to dress cute + fun like everyone else. As a plus size woman it takes A LOT of planning before the trip to find clothes that I’ll be comfortable in.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Oh yeah, that is a good point about the bathrooms. They can be very small. And you bring up another good point about simply wanting to look and cute and fun on vacation, and how much more work it takes as a plus size woman. I sooo feel you on this.

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Nikki Murray's avatar

I just wanted to say that you look stunningly beautiful in that red dress outside the Palace of Versailles❤️❤️

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thank you so much. Madewell does some great easy dresses.

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Lisa FJ's avatar

Love your red dress! I too find I like my vacations better when I dress in things I like. It makes a huge difference especially when lots of pictures are involved.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thank you so much!

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Jenna Vandenberg's avatar

I was also delightfully surprised at the friendliness of Parisians. The snobbery must be a tired, old stereotype. You and your pictures look fabulous

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thanks, Jenna. I was really going in expecting the worst, but I found the Parisians to be quite welcoming.

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Elizabeth Joubert's avatar

I really appreciated this piece, and I’m glad you had a good time on your trip. As someone who lives in Paris, I can confirm that the city is built for smaller people (everything from chair and table sizes to clothing), but as you observed, there is body diversity and fashion diversity. It can be easy to focus on the thin and fashionable, but in truth all kinds of people live here. There is a French fashion touch, where women and men look gorgeous even when dressed casually—the quality and fit of their clothing, the combinations, and the styling are top-notch. I like that all kinds of people take care of themselves and take care with their appearance; a form of respect for others and self-respect (that I am often missing as a work-at-home writer, I must admit). My experience has also been that locals like to meet people from all over the world, as long as the visitors are respectful, and lots of people have helped me through the city over my years of local-touring with kids. If you come back to France, consider visiting other regions; there are treasures all over and lots of down-home folks out in the country :)

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Rachael's avatar

I travelled England and Europe as a plus sized person over Christmas last year. As ever, the main worry was flimsy cafe chairs and fitting into booth seats.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Yes!! The flimsy cafe chairs!!

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Laure Mayoud's avatar

I don't live in Paris but the Paris region and, fortunately, there are some shops selling nice clothes in my size. I wear a 46 or 48, which if I remember well is 36 /38 when it comes to jeans sizes.

But for people who need bigger sizes than these, I'm afraid online is the only solution ☹️

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Glad you have some options, however limited.

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

I had a similar experience in Miami and I was much thinner then! I’m so glad you prepared mentally for your experience in Paris. I remember how charmed people were at my clumsy French. It’s the trying that they appreciate.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Yes, I heard that making an effort goes a long way. And greeting people when you enter their shops, cafes etc.

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Sheila (of Ephemera)'s avatar

Yes, excellent tip! Being polite is always a good idea.

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Tom Newcomer's avatar

A very original and refreshing angle on Paris and travel in general. Really liked this even though not into fashion at all 😊

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Glad you enjoyed it, Tom 🙂

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Joy V.'s avatar

I visited Paris one time -- in November. I loved being able to cover up most of the time, not gonna lie! (Congrats on this post doing well btw - I know a lot of hard work went into writing/editing it, so it's good to see the Substack algorithm *not* ignoring it).

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

I was struck by how much layering was happening at the end of May—we sure don't need it here in Texas! Re: the post doing well, I am honestly baffled as to why this piece took off. I wondered if Substack was rewarding me for writing again after a little layoff. It just goes to show you never know.

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Joy V.'s avatar

It’s a perfect headline! I immediately wanted to read it.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Good to know!

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Laure Mayoud's avatar

I am glad to read you encountered (almost) only nice people in Paris. It is not that we French do not like Americans, it is simply that many tourists from the US can be very loud. But Americans probably think French tourists are a pain as they expect everyone to speak French ! As a plus size woman myself, I can (alas) only confirm that parisian shops rarely offer any size over L... which they consider to be plus size !

(and just one last thing : Monoprix is not the equivalent of Target, it is actually a lot more expensive 😊 )

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Laure, thank you for sharing.

We Americans are loud and can sometimes come across as entitled and rude, so I get why we have the reputation we do. It fits for a lot of us.

And thank you for letting me know about Monoprix. I'm curious, as a plus-size French person, do you just buy all of your clothes online?

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Lizzy Co (she/they)'s avatar

Your daughter is so lucky to have an example like yours! Thanks for sharing your story, love your writing.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thank you, Lizzy. I wish we didn't have to, but I'm grateful I'm at a point with my daughters where we can have these conversations.

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Susan Dillon's avatar

I loved being in Amsterdam. I am 5’9” and for the first time in my life, I was eye to eye with many other women.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

That's so cool to hear. I imagine if you've always felt like an outlier, it must be so liberating to finally feel like you fit in.

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Linda Hubbard-Cooke's avatar

The waiter pulling out the table is standard behavior at cafes and restaurants in Paris. It has nothing to do with you or your size. It has everything to do with the tight spaces. I’ve even in Paris two years and find people very friendly.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Good to know. Yes, it was such a tight space. No one pulled it back out as we left, and so I had to hope and pray my butt wasn't in the food of the people sitting next to me.

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