‘I learned from my Italian friends to celebrate food, not fear it’

An interview with anti-diet registered dietitian Patricia Jakubec on growing up with food insecurity and discovering intuitive eating.

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Hey everyone! This is my occasional series, Dared to Ditch, where I profile people who have given up diets. My subject today is Patricia Jakubec MPH, RDN (she/her), an Anti-Diet Registered Dietitian and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She specializes in intuitive eating, helping women in their 50s enjoy freedom around food and find peace with their body. 

What I found most interesting about Patricia’s story is that she grew up in a home with both food insecurity and rampant dieting. In fact, she used dieting as a cover for why she didn’t always have lunch.

Long before divesting from diet culture, Patricia had a passion for helping those facing food insecurity. She was honored to have her graduate project in food insecurity research published as a coauthor in the Journal of Hunger & Environmental Nutrition. You can follow her at patriciajakubec.com, on Facebook and Instagram.

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“I use this quote by Maya Angelou quote all the time, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” My “why” is simply because I know better!” —Patricia Jakubec

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Kristi: How long have you not been dieting?

Patricia: It has officially been three years since my last diet! 

Kristi: Why did you initially decide to stop dieting?

Patricia: I remember the moment I decided to stop dieting clearly. My husband and I moved to Naples, Italy, in late February 2020. I was newly credentialed as a registered dietitian, trying to figure out how I could work on the Navy base. The whole country shut down three weeks later! 

I spent months in our house, alone all day, contemplating how I was going to use this hard-earned credential with no real opportunities. I was looking into continuing education courses and reading everything I could get my hands on. I came across the book Anti-Diet by

Christy Harrison, MPH, RD

quite accidentally. I remember my initial thoughts were, we have the same credentials, what the heck is anti-diet?

To say that book changed my life is an understatement! It was as if a switch was flipped inside me. Everything up to that point was not my fault! By July 2020, I was done with dieting! I spent most of my time in Italy learning and applying the principles of Intuitive Eating, reading about HAES, the fat positive movement and unlearning A LOT!

Kristi: As a registered dietitian, what, if any, education did you receive in intuitive eating or non-diet approaches to eating?

Patricia: I am sad to say that there was no mention of Intuitive Eating or non-diet eating approaches in the curriculum during my nutrition and dietetics undergraduate or graduate/internship program. When I asked fellow classmates about this after the fact, they also have no recollection of these concepts. I was reminded that our undergraduate program was a clinically focused program as a plausible reason this content would not be included. My graduate program/dietetic internship was Public Health and community focused, again no non-diet approaches surfaced in the curriculum there either. It certainly is not lost on me why dietetics programs may not share an alternative paradigm since many programs align with the weight-centric model. 

Kristi: What is your “why” now? What keeps you from not dieting again?

Patricia: I use this quote by Maya Angelou quote all the time, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” My “why” is simply because I know better! 

I don’t say lightly that the last three years have been the most fulfilling years because of my time with my children, but I realize if I had the clarity I do now when they were growing up, oh how much more present I would have been, I missed so much of their lives stuck inside my own head. I do not dwell on that, because I do not live in the past any longer. 

My mission, my why now, is to give this awakening to as many other women as possible. 

Kristi: How did you find this group of women who didn't follow “diet mentality?” 

Patricia: The group of women who did not subscribe to diet mentality were my Italian neighbors. We lived in a small town north of the U.S. Navy base. When [COVID] restrictions were loosened, there would be outdoor celebrations with lots of food, wine and fun. Our neighbors loved to show off their American friends. During this time, I noticed the Italian women did not discuss or critique their bodies, other bodies or restrict what they ate. The mantra there is, "mangia, mangia," (eat, eat) and enjoy it, savor it! I learned from my Italian friends to celebrate food, not fear it. It was the breath of fresh air I needed. 

Kristi: What has been the biggest benefit of not dieting?

Patricia: My whole adult life was filled with insecurity, doubt, low self-esteem and living to please everyone around me. I accomplished so much in my adult life, but none of it made me feel “enough.” 

The single biggest benefit of not dieting for me is becoming present in my life and being unapologetically as me. I got out of my head and into my life!

Kristi: How has not dieting impacted how you view diet culture and anti-fat bias?

Patricia: Christy Harrison coined diet culture as “The Life Thief.” I cannot agree more! It stole nearly 36 years of my life. Now I view diet culture as the most diabolical scam ever! It makes me angry that it is still going strong and has infiltrated our healthcare system. 

I often say, once you see it, you cannot unsee it. This is true of so many things, of course, but the diet industry lies, and anti-fat bias are blatant to me now. I am currently partly through the Body Trust certification; I acknowledge I am just at the tip of the iceberg of anti-fat bias knowledge, but we are digging up the roots. There is much more for me to learn! What I do know, I am very cognizant that my words and actions can harm others, so I make a concerted effort to ask myself if my words could potentially harm someone. 

Kristi: How does not dieting affect your relationships and social choices?

Patricia: It is interesting how much I chose not to participate in because of my insecurities in the past. I missed out on many experiences with friends and family. After all I know now, I go out of my way to make and cultivate relationships. I want to experience life! I want to see the world. 

Dieting kept me inside my head, thinking there was something wrong with me and my body. I learned to internalize everything, stuffing everything down and avoiding letting people see the real me. Now that dieting is not holding me back, I am learning to open up, be vulnerable with people and let them in. This has been the most challenging aspect for me. The more I do it the better I feel and knowing I am helping other women feels amazing.

Kristi: How does how you were raised impact your relationship with food and body image?

Patricia: I grew up in a single-parent home. There was always some sort of dieting going on by my mother, grandmother and other women in my family. One of my earliest memories is not being able to eat the Jello in the refrigerator because it was for Mom’s diet. It was not uncommon to have diet talk, pointing out certain areas of their bodies, discussing what to do about it, and “did you see how much so and so gained” as a topic of Sunday family dinners. There were often photos of fat women taped to the pantry shelves or refrigerator for “motivation” to not eat. 

In this very same home, we also experienced food insecurity. There was enough food for us to eat dinner. Breakfast and lunches were often gotten from school. The weekends/field trips were the hardest. As a teenager, I was ashamed of not having food, snacks etc. Instead of admitting to ANYONE that I didn’t have lunch, I would say I was on a diet. I remember this being an acceptable practice since most teenage girls in the 80s were dieting. I only realize now, this was a protection mechanism for me to hide the shame I felt about my family being low income.

Kristi: How can food insecurity impact someone's ability to connect with their body?

Patricia: Experiencing food insecurity at any age is impactful. Depending on the length of time it was experienced, connecting with their body can be difficult. Rebuilding trust with the body that food will not be withheld again can take painstakingly long when the brain remains in scarcity. 

It is not uncommon to begin with scheduled eating times to regain hunger cues after prolonged periods without adequate food intake. Concurrently, there is eating beyond fullness, because this may have been the norm when food was available. This is challenging itself, considering the internal food shame that is usually present, then with the added level of shame from diet culture, the ability to connect with the body may be impossible without assistance from a trained professional. I believe the success rates from eating disorder treatment using the non-diet approach support this. This may also be why many say the Intuitive Eating approach "did not work" for them. 

Kristi: How do you handle the societal pressure around dieting, diet talk, body talk etc.? Do you have any tips to share?

Patricia: When my husband and I returned to the United States, we became full time RVers, living and working on the road. We can really pick and choose our environment.

It goes without saying, I meet new people each time we move. Often, I am asked about our employment situations or what I do. I usually simply say “I help women in their 50s to enjoy freedom around food and find peace with their body.” If I get questions, I answer them. Many times, the response is “interesting.” The bottom line is I am not trying to convince anyone what to do with their life. I am simply planting seeds. 

As far as how I handle diet and body talk in these specific situations, I am getting better at remembering I was once on the other side of the conversation. It is a very fine line to walk! Sometimes I am simultaneously screaming in my head and biting my tongue trying to figure out how to change the subject.  

This is easier on the road with strangers, of course, my family, particularly my mother is a different story. She knows what I do, and she still asks me about certain diets or concoctions. She still makes disparaging remarks about her body and has stigmatizing remarks made to her by her “friends.” I have told her it shouldn’t be that way; it doesn’t have to be that way and I am open to talk about it when she is ready. 

Kristi: If you have kids, how do you minimize the impacts of diet culture on them?

Patricia: My children weighed heavily on my mind as I was going through this process. They were all grown and on their own long before I kicked dieting out of my life. I worried most about my daughter, thinking about how I may have passed the same food and body obsession down to her. She and I have had numerous conversations and she has read most of the eye-opening books I have. Now that she is expecting twins, she has made a few passing remarks about her body, and I am grateful to have even a small piece of knowledge to redirect her thinking in those moments. 

My two boys on the other hand, have in many ways internalized some anti-fat bias regarding size and health. I remind them that I have an open mind when they want to share their political views with me. I expect the same respect when they make a remark about their own bodies. We are all works in progress. 

Kristi: Do you have any advice or encouragement to share for those who haven’t yet broken free of diets?

Patricia: My only piece of advice is to keep an open mind. Consider the alternative possibilities. After all, Dr. [Ignaz] Semmelweis merely suggested that doctors washing their hands would prevent infection in their patients. He was ostracized and his ideas were rejected by the medical community. Now this is a non-negotiable practice. 

At the very least read:

• Anti-Diet by

  Christy Harrison, MPH, RD

• More Than a Body by Lexie Kite PhD and Lindsay Kite PhD

Have questions for Patricia about finding food freedom after growing up with food insecurity or quitting diets? Share your them in comments!

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Share Your Story of Ditching Diets

If you’ve found freedom from dieting, we’d love to share your story so that it may inspire someone else…or simply make them feel less alone. Comment below or reach out at at kristik @ substack.com.

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