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When we decide to stop dieting, there are all sorts of changes that happen—physically, mentally, emotionally. We’re not just ditching diets, we’re reclaiming ourselves and redefining our self-worth on our own terms, outside of our appearance. There is so much growth and transformation that comes from this process. It’s a rebirth of sorts. But there are also practical changes that happen—and they aren’t all positive.
In order to make permanent, long-term, positive change, we have to deal with the practical considerations first.
Many of us hit our diet “rock bottoms” when we finally come to terms with the idea that diets don’t work. It’s when we realize that our old techniques for losing weight aren’t working anymore. It’s when it dawns on us that those techniques were never really working, because the weight loss was never permanent. Those diets we thought were successes really weren’t because they were always temporary—the real deal is we’re not meant to be starving ourselves. The real deal is we’re not meant to be measuring our self-worth by our size.
This post is long overdue, but I want to talk about what to do when your clothes no longer fit. Though the solution may be simple, adjusting to our changing bodies is a complicated emotional process. We're dealing with big feelings, plus practical considerations like what to wear on a daily basis.
To be clear, there is no predicting what your body will do when you stop dieting. Intuitive Eating founders Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole have made this abundantly clear. Some of us will gain weight as we transition to intuitive eating. Some of us will lose weight. Some of us will stay the same. Some of us will go up and then down as our bodies reach their happy place. No matter what happens to our weight in the transition, it will eventually settle.
But if you gain weight and your clothes no longer fit, as was the case with me, there are practical changes you have to make right away. And if you’re committed to quitting diets, your old coping strategies—aka starting the next diet—won’t cut it when you discover your favorite jeans no longer zip. You’re now in uncharted territory, learning to sit this with discomfort AND having to take action.
It’s really important to emotionally deal with this. And it runs counter to what we’ve probably thought our entire lives, but we actually feel better when we wear clothes that fit.
I cannot overstate this enough. It’s really important that we find clothes we love in the bodies we’re in right now. Depending on your size, you could have a lot of options or you could have fewer options than you used to. And this can be challenging, but it is so important to find them.
It’s a special kind of torture when you step into your closet every morning and see a bunch of clothes that you can no longer wear. It does a huge disservice to your self-esteem and may make you question your decision to stop dieting entirely. It can be very triggering. So they have to go.
The best approach to dealing with a closet full of clothes that no longer fit is by removing them, but that’s easier said than done. A gentler approach is to remove them from your everyday spaces so you don’t see them. Since I didn’t know what was gonna happen to my body while transitioning to intuitive eating, I didn’t want to just get rid of everything I had and start over, so I started by bagging up things that didn’t fit—with them still on hangers—and moving them to my garage. You could move yours to your attic or a guest closet or maybe store them with a friend.
And you might have to do this process of removing clothes at different periods throughout your transition.
In my first round of moving clothes to my garage, I just got rid of my “skinny” clothes, the ones that hadn’t fit in a long time—and even a handful that had never fit. A few weeks after that, I started bagging up more every day and special occasion items that no longer fit, so I could make room for new clothes that did.
I didn’t want to buy a whole bunch of new clothes, not knowing what would happen to my body long-term, so I started by just buying a few things at a time, the types of clothes that I wore often, like workout wear and basics. I tried to make them stretchy, so they could grow or shrink with me. And I bought many of them used, because it was much easier for me to justify buying used clothes that would fit in my temporary body and not be a huge expense. My kids love thrifting, so this is something we do often anyway.
As time went on, I got more comfortable letting go of clothes. I would do a round of closet purging after I had bought a few new items. For special occasions, I rented rather than buying new items. Rent the Runway has a surprising number of plus-sized items (up to size 24), and I used the site for a couple of galas. What’s nice about the site is they provide lots of information about whether items run small, large or true to size, and they will give you the next size up for free if it’s in stock. Their clearance sales are also a great way to get high-end clothing for significantly less than retail.
So this was my pattern for the last year during my transition, until my weight leveled out. I didn’t think too much about those old clothes in the garage while I did the hard work with my therapist to accept my new size. And while I’ve come to realize that body acceptance is something I will deal with off and on for awhile, I have gotten to a better place with it. A month ago, I finally went to the garage and loaded up the old clothes to donate them. My oldest daughter pulled out a few of the things she’s always loved to tailor and keep for herself. The rest I sent to Goodwill.
Depending on your emotional attachment to your clothing, you could resell those items or you could donate them to charity. You could give them to a friend or a loved one or take them to a clothing swap. If you’re not used to regularly getting rid of your clothes, you might need to enlist a loved one to help you get rid of them.
Accepting your larger body size AND having to part with items you love can be an incredibly difficult process. You may not love your new body for a long time, and you may need to grieve the loss of the body you once had. Don’t skip this process or try to stuff down those feelings. It’s important to get closure around this experience, and you can’t do that if you can’t acknowledge what you’re feeling. You also can’t move on until you do.
While we’re talking about clothing and closets, It’s a good time to bring up mirrors, which can be triggering as well. It might be that you need to remove or cover up some of your full-length mirrors for a while, and that’s OK. Whatever you have to do to manage this transition phase of your life is what you should do.
Here are a few more tips to help you love the body you’re in right now:
Make friends with waist bands and other stretchy items. While you’re in transition, give yourself room to shrink or grow.
Cut the size tags out of clothes if that’s a hang up for you.
Find clothes and brands and stores that make clothes that fit your body now.
Indulge in one or two pieces of clothing that you love and that fit your body now.
Find things that make you feel beautiful in the body you’re in. This might be an accessory, a piece of jewelry, shoes, a scarf or a handbag.
Engage in self-care. This is the time to treat yourself kindly.
Write it down or talk it out. Don’t hold your feelings inside. Share them, even if it’s just with yourself. You need time and space to mourn for what you’ve lost.
Lean in to what you love. I decided to go bold and embrace color in a way I never had before (this was also part of my transition process in going gray).
Decide when to let go of old clothes when it makes sense for you. I intentionally did not get rid of clothing when I was most vulnerable to relapse. Some of you may need to get rid of clothes right away so you can mentally close the door on your decision.
You know yourself best, so make the right decision for you! Have a tip for easing the transition when your clothes aren’t fitting? I would love to hear it. Share it her so we can all learn!
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I know this isn’t geared towards pregnant women but it still resonates so much. I don’t think I’ll fit into my clothes postpartum and it’s good to reckon with that early on. Thank you for this!
This made me think about thrift-store shopping, one of my favorite activities in my late teens and early 20s, right as I was sort of getting my footing in the world, but I still cared about fashion... so I wanted to look more unconventional/punk/whatever, and thrift stores were wonderful for that.
I also have a really hard time throwing clothing away. For me, it's probably part of that scarcity mindset I tried writing about a while back, the idea that you have to sort of hold onto everything forever, since you might not get another chance. All I can say is that I'm even more convinced that epigenetics has played a role in my life, with the superpower of frugality (and also supercurse) being part and parcel of who I was growing up.
Not to derail much from the central message here, Kristi! It's a very well articulated one, and I hope it helps a lot of folks who are adjusting to similar circumstances. Keep 'em coming!