Why Quitting Diets Is the First Step Toward Feeling Better About Your Body

Until you deliberately decide to reject diets and diet culture, it's unlikely you will ever like your body.

Those of us who have quit diets have strong feelings about that decision and often strong reasons for it, whether it’s that we’ve finally hit our personal “diet rock bottom” or that we’re trying to provide every bit of support we can to a child suffering from anorexia. When you commit to changing your relationship with food and when you decide to no longer let weight be the sole measure of your worth, it’s a deliberate decision. As I’ve discussed before, knowing your why is critical to supporting your commitment to diet recovery. But deciding to quit diets is even more important. It’s the first step. 

Maybe you’re in the making-up-your-mind phase or maybe you’re in that pre-quitting stage that I stayed in for years—when you know you need to quit but you’re just not ready. Just know that as long as you’re sitting on the fence in this sort of liminal diet limbo space, your relationship with your body will not change. You’re unlikely to feel better about your body if you’ve bought into the idea that it’s your fault you can’t have the body you want and if you just lost those last however many pounds, you’d finally be worthy of love and acceptance.

If you’re still actively taking part in diets and diet culture, extreme overexercise, secret eating rules or “health and wellness” programs that don’t dare call themselves diets but are focused on controlling your body size and wondering, “How am I ever going to get past these horrible feelings that I have about myself?” The answer is…you won’t.

Because until you deliberately decide to reject diet mentality and diet culture, you’re going to continue to swim in this soup of unhappiness with yourself and your body, this swirling shame and this sense of failure. Until you deliberately decide to quit diets and reject diet culture, you remain trapped. 

This is why quitting is so important. 

Quitting is a deliberate act that changes the dynamic of your situation.

For some of us, it feels like an act of surrender. We’re finally waving the white flag, after years of perceived failure. But we should be looking at quitting as a declaration of freedom or an act of rebellion—it’s signaling I’m done with this nonsense. The minute you reject diets and diet culture, things shift. 

It’s not overnight, and sometimes it takes months to see progress, but when you decide to reject the diet mindset that says you’re not good enough because you’re not thin enough, real transformation can begin.

Now, you can’t just wave a magic wand after you decide to stop dieting and magically end a lifetime of body resentment. And you can’t just stop dieting and not do work on yourself and expect change. It doesn’t work that way. But once you decide to stop dieting, once you get really clear on why you’re no longer dieting and once you actually commit to not dieting, you shift into the solution space. You work toward change.

You start problem-solving versus complaining, actively working on yourself versus lamenting what you can’t have, examining the bigger systems that fed you these beliefs and turned you against yourself. When you’re really committed, you resolve to find a way.  

You might still have negative feelings about yourself, but as you’re practicing more love and kindness toward yourself, as you seek resources to help support you on this journey, as you work to reclaim your connection to your body, you’re actively working to replace those negative feelings with something more positive.

It will be a different experience than the one you’ve had until this point.

No, your body shame will not disappear right away, and it will probably still be the hardest part of your diet recovery, but until you decide, nothing changes. 

How long will you sit with these feelings of unworthiness? 

A year ago, I decided to stop dieting and armed myself with resources—books, blogs and podcasts with experts—but what was missing were personal stories from people like me. I didn’t know a single person—aside from my daughters and their nutritionists—who had done the same, and it was lonely and alienating. It’s why I started this Substack.

I quickly realized I would need more support to make my transition and began working with an intuitive eating-certified therapist. She was the first “real person” I could talk with about the things I was learning and experiencing, but still much of this journey has been alone with my thoughts and occasional voices from afar of people who have made the same transition. 

Next week, I’m debuting a new, occasional feature here, where I tell the stories of people who have quit diets. I hope it will be a nudge for those of you haven’t yet quit and positive reinforcement for those of you down the road in your recovery. If you’ve quit diets, I would love to share your story with my readers. Please email me at kristik @ substack.com.

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