Love this piece! I’m recently dealing with a friend break up and naming my feelings and identifying why I’m hurt helps, though I have to be careful not to ruminate :) it can be a fine line! Also I loved SleepyHollow’s recent post, and it sparks such important conversations.
Thank you. Friendship breakups, or even friendship "status changes," can be so devastating. You're right for sure that it's a fine line with rumination, but I think that's also why it's so important to work through the feelings that come up and fact check them if necessary. I had been stuck myself, ruminating over something that happened with a friend a few months ago, and turned something I didn't know for sure into a "fact," when it never was. I finally realized that I was letting something I don't know to be true affect my feelings about myself and was able to turn it around immediately. Sending positive thoughts your way!
So wise! Yes, I started that way, creating more of a story than perhaps reality, and with the help of talking to another friend, and examining what I knew to be real and what I didn’t, helped me stop ruminating and attempt to move forward. Thank you for putting that process into words so eloquently. And I will most likely need to keep checking myself IF I fall off the non-ruminating wagon :)
“But when we use our words to describe feelings, either alone or with someone else, they become less scary”. Definitely true, particularly with someone else in my case
1. I'm super glad that I inspired some thought about something you were already thinking about! I can't get enough of etymology. I think it's a lifelong interest of mine.
2. This place is becoming a community of sorts, exactly what I was hoping for, where you have a really cool network of writers supporting each other
3. I'm reluctantly coming around to embracing names for newer jiu jitsu positions, reinforcing this idea that names are useful and powerful. I hate that positions I've known for a long time now have names, but the names help us talk about the positions
It's so interesting to me because so many of the pieces, even notes, I read last week involved the power of words. I don't think it's coincidence when these sorts of patterns come up.
Also, I love that there is a practical purpose to naming things like jiu jitsu positions ;)
Using words to name what we are feeling so those feelings hold less power over us is a life-changing concept. I don't think we can overstate the importance of learning to do this. I certainly have found that if I can give it a name, hold the emotion gently, and allow it to be, without judgment, my life flows much easier. For some reason, even though I know this, your essay hit home for me. The power of the naming. Thank you Kristi.
Also, I love all the articles you tagged and look forward to reading the ones I haven't already checked out.
Kristi, thanks for this post. It really does help, though it can be a lifelong practice to learn for those of us with busy minds. ;-) I appreciate the call-out as well!
Love this piece! I’m recently dealing with a friend break up and naming my feelings and identifying why I’m hurt helps, though I have to be careful not to ruminate :) it can be a fine line! Also I loved SleepyHollow’s recent post, and it sparks such important conversations.
Thank you. Friendship breakups, or even friendship "status changes," can be so devastating. You're right for sure that it's a fine line with rumination, but I think that's also why it's so important to work through the feelings that come up and fact check them if necessary. I had been stuck myself, ruminating over something that happened with a friend a few months ago, and turned something I didn't know for sure into a "fact," when it never was. I finally realized that I was letting something I don't know to be true affect my feelings about myself and was able to turn it around immediately. Sending positive thoughts your way!
So wise! Yes, I started that way, creating more of a story than perhaps reality, and with the help of talking to another friend, and examining what I knew to be real and what I didn’t, helped me stop ruminating and attempt to move forward. Thank you for putting that process into words so eloquently. And I will most likely need to keep checking myself IF I fall off the non-ruminating wagon :)
“But when we use our words to describe feelings, either alone or with someone else, they become less scary”. Definitely true, particularly with someone else in my case
Hi Kristi, And, it seems like, you work diligently at maintaining your wellness and well-being. My hat is off to you.
It's a moving target, but yes, always. Thank you.
1. I'm super glad that I inspired some thought about something you were already thinking about! I can't get enough of etymology. I think it's a lifelong interest of mine.
2. This place is becoming a community of sorts, exactly what I was hoping for, where you have a really cool network of writers supporting each other
3. I'm reluctantly coming around to embracing names for newer jiu jitsu positions, reinforcing this idea that names are useful and powerful. I hate that positions I've known for a long time now have names, but the names help us talk about the positions
It's so interesting to me because so many of the pieces, even notes, I read last week involved the power of words. I don't think it's coincidence when these sorts of patterns come up.
Also, I love that there is a practical purpose to naming things like jiu jitsu positions ;)
Thank you for passing along my essay, and for bringing it home to your own family. I hope it helps continue the conversation!
Using words to name what we are feeling so those feelings hold less power over us is a life-changing concept. I don't think we can overstate the importance of learning to do this. I certainly have found that if I can give it a name, hold the emotion gently, and allow it to be, without judgment, my life flows much easier. For some reason, even though I know this, your essay hit home for me. The power of the naming. Thank you Kristi.
Also, I love all the articles you tagged and look forward to reading the ones I haven't already checked out.
Kristi, thanks for this post. It really does help, though it can be a lifelong practice to learn for those of us with busy minds. ;-) I appreciate the call-out as well!