💬 Weekly discussion: Share one insight around food, body or self-acceptance you’ve gained with age
It took me years, but I finally learned I don't have to 'earn' the big holiday meal.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot as Thanksgiving approaches, and a memory popped up for me last week—ironically while mountain biking. I used to have so many rules around eating in general, but holiday eating was next level. Back in my running days, I would intentionally schedule a long run (10 miles or more) on Thanksgiving morning so I could “earn” the right to eat whatever I wanted later in the day. My earliest memory of doing this is from college, but I did some version of the earn-my-meal game well into my mid-40s until I found intuitive eating.
These days, Thanksgiving (and holiday eating) looks a lot different for me. I have no shame around what I eat, and because of that, ironically, I’m less likely to overindulge. If I go for a hike or a mountain bike ride on the big day, it’s for the joy of it and because it makes my body feel good.
This year, we’ll be having an over-the-top dinner prepared by my daughter, a trained chef who lives out of state and doesn’t get to visit often. While I don't know the full menu yet, her mac-and-cheese is amazing and the top request by everyone in the family. If she makes it, I will be indulging guilt-free—no extra calorie burn required!
It took years to let go of the rules and just savor the experience, but the rewards have been worth it—less guilt and shame, more joy. And because I've given myself full permission, I'm much less likely to overindulge. (Even if I do, I won't be beating myself up over it.)
Now it’s your turn.
If you could share one insight about food, body image, or self-acceptance that you’ve gained with age, what would it be?
How has your thinking evolved over time?
Share your nuggets of wisdom and insight. You never know what might help someone else!
I learned to let go of the obsession around not wasting food that my mother and grandparents instilled in me. The food is going into the trash either way. It does not need to pass through my body first. It's OK to throw away the food I'm finished with and there's no need to have a clean plate when I'm done eating. (childhood food trauma extraordinaire!)
I think one big shift for me was letting go of the perfectionism around food. The feeling that I was either "doing it right" (getting the right balance of macronutrients, calories, whatever) or I was failing miserably. The black and white thinking was strong. I no longer track food, I just trust my body to tell me what it needs, exercise has been a little harder. I'm very much either "on" or "off" and trying to find a place where choosing to exercise one day but not the next doesn't bring with it a feeling of moral failure. I'm definitely still a work in progress but so much happier than I was when I was deeply steeped in diet culture.