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Donna Druchunas's avatar

I’ve never really hated my body because I’m a live in my head kind of person. Also I have the body of one side of my family and my sister has the body of the other side, so I guess I always l knew more or less what my body shape would be as I aged. But after menopause I was not happy with the changes I was seeing in myself. Then one day I saw someone I would have called a “fat old lady” and I realized she was awesome and that my body was like hers. It was quite an epiphany. And now I am most concerned with my cholesterol and health stuff, not with my weight or the shape of my body.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Kudos to you, Donna. I think this is an awesome place to be. We can care about our health without killing ourselves to reach an unreachable size.

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Mariah Burton Nelson's avatar

I love the article & I love my body, including its imperfections & limitations. Affirmations help. 😀

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Oooh, I love the idea of an affirmation. A favorite influencer I follow who has a large belly has one that's something like, "No, I'm not pregnant. This is just the way my belly is." Any interest in sharing yours?

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Mariah Burton Nelson's avatar

Great! First, here's some advice from Olympic swimming champion Nancy Hogshead: "Love your body. Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it, love it."

That's from this story I posted last week: https://strongerwomen.substack.com/p/i-asked-an-olympian-for-athletic

After that interview with Nancy, my affirmation has become, "I love this whole body." Somehow that makes it global, with no loopholes, reminding me to love not just the parts that are easy to love, but all my sore joints, too, which is my challenge (arthritis, sports injuries).

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Melissa Amateis's avatar

Another amazing post, Kristi!!! Thank you!

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thank you, Melissa!

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Fairwyn Shaw's avatar

Well done you! I love that you are back to you are finally back to weightlifting!

In response to a few of your questions, sadly, I feel my brain is flopping back and forth about my body. I had to have the "life changing surgery" a few years ago and I was told I could never lift more than 15kg. I'd always considered myself strong, like you linebacker-ish and only very thin at one fleeting part of my life - military enlistment. Now, I'm just training for my "stay out of a nursing home" events. I'm emotionally stronger than ever now. Great post, I enjoy reading your progress. :)

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Ha! This made me laugh, but seriously, there's a lot of merit to avoiding a nursing home event! I love that you're finding strength where you can, even if you're not 100% okay with it. I find that just having that awareness that you're not okay with something is better than struggling and not knowing it. Also, I just strongly believe that people who are fighting for change tend to get there.

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Dawn Levitt's avatar

I love this. I was probably one of the girls you hated back then. I have a small build, tiny bones, tiny everything except an unusually large bust for my size. I joke that I'm a brunette Dolly Parton. Tiny and busty. For most of my twenties, my weight hovered around 110 lbs. If it touched 120, I starved myself, living on Slimfast shakes so I could still wear a size 2 jeans. When a serious illness and stroke left me at 83 lbs with a feeding tube when I was 36, I realized skinny wasn't a good thing.

Now, I'm heavier and the strongest I've been in my life. I lift weights. I have visible muscles. I no longer have to ask for help with things like lifting my carry-on into the overhead bin.

It feels good to be strong.

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Oddly, I didn't hate other women for their bodies, it was more like sadness and frustration that I couldn't get there too. And one of my children also has your former body type, so I know that it's no bed of roses or indicator of health. It's always so interesting to hear stories like yours and know that even someone so tiny felt that same pressure to maintain it.

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BellyLines's avatar

Ohhh I have not read this but just by the title I can say it’s awesome!

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Kristi Koeter's avatar

Thank you.

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Donna McArthur's avatar

Both professionally and personally I've found that getting strong is one of the biggest game changers there is. I look forward to reading more about your journey as you're getting back to the weights. Also I LOVE the pic of you in your pink shorts!

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Vanessa Novissimo Wright's avatar

YES X 100! I needed to read this today!

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Joan Breibart's avatar

The woman in the photo is NOT fat. She is muscular. She won't be a couture model, but she will look good anywhere else. BUT 65% of the US population is OBESE. If your waistline measures 35 inches you are obese.

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

Ohhhhh.... I like "inner God of Thunder". And I always relate to and appreciate what you write. It's hard not to compare our today bodies to our back then bodies. A constant renavigation of expectation and appreciation.

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Fran Mason's avatar

I'm 60 and have been lifting (heavy) weights for twenty years this year. I admit I don't love seeing my body change since menopause but I do love my highly functional body and am grateful for strength and capability. I also teach women to deadlift, bench, squat, etc and love seeing them discover the result. Thanks for this post. Oh and I loved Casey Johnston's book!

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Amy Brown's avatar

Wow! Your inner goddess of thunder is phenomenal! Such an inspiring piece Kristi!

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Lisa Simeone's avatar

"Inner God of Thunder" -- love it!!

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Shelly Stallard's avatar

I could be good with that. I have been compared to Ursula before…now, to be clear, Ursula rocks the catbox. I felt a bit odd about the comparison, though. My hair was patterned like hers, and to be fair, it was standing up like that, too😂🤣😂🤣

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