As a mother to two children who are recovering from anorexia, I've learned some practical tips for helping kids have a healthier relationship to food and their body.
Aha to all of this and definitely to ditching the scales. Whilst I certainly don't blame myself (now), I have discovered that learning how to be me confident about myself has certainly helped our daughters recovery. The more we can focus on our childrens strengths and values, the stronger we build their foundations and the more likely they are to weather the external storm of the diet industry.
I love this and agree with you. One upside to having kids go through ED treatment is they have no trouble recognizing diet culture or the damage it causes.
Thank you for sharing this! This is such an important topic, and I especially appreciate how you acknowledge the importance of including people of all sizes, especially since fatphobia is at the root of many eating disorders. (Not the only cause of course, but it can be a big factor.) I recovered from atypical anorexia, which wasn't a diagnosis back when I dealt with it (the 1990s), though, thankfully, it is now. It's indistinguishable from "regular" anorexia with the sole exception that atypical anorexics never look emaciated. I, for example, still looked "fat" by all external standards. Although body dysmorphia was definitely a factor for me, I was still higher weight than I was "supposed" to be. So everyone around me, including my parents and doctors, thought I was just doing what you're supposed to do when your fat — not eating. (Of course, I had all the other symptoms too — an intense fear of food and of being fat, an intense fear of others' judgment, body-shame, and body dysmorphia.) All of these things had huge negative impacts on my life. But it was only my paternal grandmother who recognized what was happening and helped me on the road to recovery. I don't blame my parents, though, because they were just doing what my doctor back then literally told them to do — encouraging me to diet for my "health." They didn't understand that the exact opposite was happening (serious harm to my health, both mentally and physically). And this is one of the reasons the current AAP guidelines make me terrified for a new generation of kids. Because I was a fat kid who did ALL the diets. (My mom put me on the first one, Weight Watchers, in the first grade). And when years of dieting didn't work to change my natural body type, my intense body-shame and fear of food (because no diet made me thin) led to my eating disorder. But with so many voices now working to confront anti-fat bias, including your own (thank you!), my hope is that the message will finally get heard. (And, thankfully, it's working, albeit slowly. While many doctors haven't heard, many doctors also have; I have an excellent one.)
Beautiful and vulnerable sharing. Thank you for this important perspective!
Aha to all of this and definitely to ditching the scales. Whilst I certainly don't blame myself (now), I have discovered that learning how to be me confident about myself has certainly helped our daughters recovery. The more we can focus on our childrens strengths and values, the stronger we build their foundations and the more likely they are to weather the external storm of the diet industry.
I love this and agree with you. One upside to having kids go through ED treatment is they have no trouble recognizing diet culture or the damage it causes.
Thank you for sharing this! This is such an important topic, and I especially appreciate how you acknowledge the importance of including people of all sizes, especially since fatphobia is at the root of many eating disorders. (Not the only cause of course, but it can be a big factor.) I recovered from atypical anorexia, which wasn't a diagnosis back when I dealt with it (the 1990s), though, thankfully, it is now. It's indistinguishable from "regular" anorexia with the sole exception that atypical anorexics never look emaciated. I, for example, still looked "fat" by all external standards. Although body dysmorphia was definitely a factor for me, I was still higher weight than I was "supposed" to be. So everyone around me, including my parents and doctors, thought I was just doing what you're supposed to do when your fat — not eating. (Of course, I had all the other symptoms too — an intense fear of food and of being fat, an intense fear of others' judgment, body-shame, and body dysmorphia.) All of these things had huge negative impacts on my life. But it was only my paternal grandmother who recognized what was happening and helped me on the road to recovery. I don't blame my parents, though, because they were just doing what my doctor back then literally told them to do — encouraging me to diet for my "health." They didn't understand that the exact opposite was happening (serious harm to my health, both mentally and physically). And this is one of the reasons the current AAP guidelines make me terrified for a new generation of kids. Because I was a fat kid who did ALL the diets. (My mom put me on the first one, Weight Watchers, in the first grade). And when years of dieting didn't work to change my natural body type, my intense body-shame and fear of food (because no diet made me thin) led to my eating disorder. But with so many voices now working to confront anti-fat bias, including your own (thank you!), my hope is that the message will finally get heard. (And, thankfully, it's working, albeit slowly. While many doctors haven't heard, many doctors also have; I have an excellent one.)