Improv for Introverts (and Other Conference Tricks)

This week, I’m doing more in-person networking than my introverted heart is comfortable with by attending the National Association of Women Business Owners’ annual conference, being held in Austin. Day one is already done…and it wasn’t all that bad, although truth be told, I only attended half the day and then scampered home. For the next two days, from morning ‘til night, I’ll be “on,” promoting the hybrid publisher I do marketing and communications work for at her event booth…plus my own writing. As an introvert, the idea of this is about as fun as a visit to the dentist. 

Now, it’s not end-of-the-world anxiety, but it’s one of those things I can feel rising up in the pit of my stomach on the back side of my body (since I’m working on sensing feelings inside myself). Yes, I want to go, and yes, I committed to going, and deep down I am excited about it, but if I could wave a magic wand, I would have already attended the conference, had a fabulous time and would be back at home surrounded by my creature comforts. Even though I’ve already shown up at the conference, have friends at the conference, have met with fellow introverts at the conference and have seen with my own eyes that it’s not as scary as it (still) appears in my mind, it doesn’t really change my overwhelming introverted urge to just stay home. 

But I won’t. By the time you read this, I will be back at the conference, doing my best to mingle among the masses. 

It’s no magic wand, but I did learn a few tricks for easing my anxiety at this type of event: 

At the beginning of the event yesterday, I began talking to a woman who told me about her business and then very quickly admitted that she was an introvert and that making conversation was difficult. Her admission immediately put me at ease. I realized this was a terrific tactic for navigating a big event like this: Tell people your type right away. 

When you say you’re an introvert to a fellow introvert, they immediately get you, and you both feel less alone. If you admit this to an extrovert, they don’t get you, but they may take pity on you and take you under their wing. 

The other thing this woman told me is that she takes improv classes. I asked her if this was hard as an introvert, and she said she cried after her first class, but she kept with it. Then I asked her why she was taking improve classes, and she told me it was to keep from freezing up when talking to people. 

This brings me to my second suggestion. Share something personal. Not crazy over the top, but this one admission immediately made me more connected to this woman.

Here’s another tip. Make friends fast…or don’t go it alone. That little bit of conversation at the start of the event made it easier for me the rest of the day, because I felt less like a fish out of water. It was a much-needed reminder that I wasn’t the only introvert putting myself out there. 

My last tip is to wear the conference colors (or at least coordinate). This gives people an easy conversation starter with you. I didn’t intentionally plan this, but I got several compliments about how I coordinated with the convention’s colors, which were the colors of the lanyards and tote bags.

My fellow introverts, how do you psych yourself up to be in big groups? I would love to hear tips and strategies that work for you. 

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Other Interesting Reads and Listens This Week

• One of my favorite conversations was a podcast interview between Dr. Jenn Huber, the menopause nutritionist, and her friend Meryl Cook, a healthcare provider-turned-cancer survivor, who discussed the unexpected joy she has found in midlife by tapping into her more creative, playful side. 

• Hannah Ashe
  , who writes
  Chez Hanny
  , talks about finding her own unexpected joy in talking to other people who have made creative career changes. The debut episode of her podcast, where she talks about her own career transition from teacher to interior designer, dropped last week (she’ll be interviewing me about my own creative career change later this week)!

• SleepyHollowInk
  has another round of Introvert’s Outreach, this time with author Julie Vick, who writes about introversion for a living (her book is called Babies Don't Make Small Talk (So Why Should I?): The Introvert's Guide to Surviving Parenthood). Julie perfectly captures my feelings about self-promotion and confesses she enjoys meeting friends at conferences, even though it drains her. 

• Ilana Wiles
  from
  Apparently
  shares her feelings about the current conflict in the Middle East and one of my favorite quotes from Anne Frank that has stayed with me since I first read it in childhood:

“It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” —Anne Frank

It feels a little out of place to mention the quote here, and I’ve gone back and forth with myself about whether I should, but it also feels wrong not to. Perspective is everything. In times like these, it’s important to remember what’s important. My worries are small compared to recent world events, and my heart has been heavy for all of the innocent people on both sides of this conflict who have lost their lives and loved ones.

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