16 Comments

I love this and it resonated so well with me. I recently discovered ‘true vulnerability’. I always thought I was open as I’m a good listener and good at sharing AFTER I have analysed everything myself on my own. I realised my armor was doing all the work by my lonesome (as well as a good bout of people pleasing). I realised that this shutting off true vulnerability has cost me intimate relationships and an annoying attraction to emotionally unavailable people. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! Oh, and also I sent you an email with my diet rejection story a while back, perhaps it landed in spam? Am loving your posts!

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Sep 18, 2023Liked by Kristi Koeter

Armor. I call it putting up force fields and did it for the same you did. It is hard taking off the armor or lowering your force fields. It leads to being open to “attack” but also leads to rich relationships which are the most important part of life in my opinion.

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Excellent thought piece! I love the armor analogy, and agree completely that curiosity is the best remedy.

Also, going down "what's the worst thing that could happen" scenarios has helped me to take some bigger leaps over the years.

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This is a very powerful post Kristi (and also thank you so much for the shout out😘). I recently read something, that I wish I could find again about allowing ourselves to be fully seen. To. Be. Fully. Seen.

OMG, how scary is that! For some reason those words resonated in me to a cellular level. I think I am trying to step into that now but it has taken so much work, so much (un)learning. It's absolutely worthwhile and I/we will never 'arrive'.

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There’s so much to unpack here with your comment. I never really put two and two together about being shut off and attracting emotionally unavailable people, but that makes so much sense.

I will check spam and reach out to you! I did not get the email.

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My go to armor has been people pleasing - for most of my life. Maybe, it's my age but my newer goal to be more "me." I also wanted to thanks for the shout-out.

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This is a great read!

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