I’m so different post-menopause. It’s amazing. It is like turning back into my true self, my pre-puberty self. I’m so happy to feel like me again. I started feeling a shift in my late 30s. I called it turning into myself. And now that I’m here I am 💃🕺.
"Turning into myself"—I love this phrase and think it perfectly captures the feeling. It was like you were always there all along but just couldn't quite access true yourself. And I'm so happy to hear that it comes back post-menopause. It gives me hope on weeks like these when I seem to be losing every personal item of value that isn't attached to my body!
I know exactly what you mean! I feel like I'm returning to that little girl again and embracing all the dreams she had. I always wanted to live somewhere rich in history, and that's exactly what I'm doing when I move to Virginia (I've lived in Nebraska my entire life) at the end of next month.
Absolutely! My moment was when I turned 40 and decided to make big shifts in my personal calendar. I started carving out alone time. I started journaling daily. I started to say no. I started to stay home while my husband and son went out. Out of curiosity of medicinal cbd, I started working in the Hemp industry. And I discovered Women's Cycle Awareness and it has been radically transforming women I educate and mentor.
Thank you for sharing this topic. The shift starts way before the bleed stops!
I'll confess, historically I have never paid much attention to where I am in my cycle as it relates to physical/mental/emotional states, but it's on my radar now, and I look forward to learning more. And, yes, I so wish I had known that the shift came before the periods stopped (or even became irregular). I feel like I would have gotten on top of symptoms much sooner.
The seven signs you mention may apply to late life growth as well. Everyone of them speaks to what I feel today - at age 86. I'm reviewing my values, determining what is truly important to me, and rethinking my purpose. The sign that stands out the most for me is #7 - listening to - and trusting - my inner voice. Thanks for this important post.
I wonder if it's the differences in the generations that determines when we hit these milestones. For example, I suspect my kids' aren't going to have to set boundaries when they enter midlife, because they'll have already been doing the work decades before. Or perhaps we enter a new phase in needing to find our purpose again later in life. Thank you for reading. I appreciate and value your perspective.
Very true. I also think that our purpose changes over the years. For me, first it was raise a family, then it was be a career person, then to take care of my husband, then to build a new life after he died, and now it seems to be more about me and being true to me.
I love this Kristi! I think I had some far-fetched idea that when I turned 40 my life would be magical because I would no longer care what other people think and I would hit my stride. It didn't go that way🤣 My midlife awakening has taken about 20 years, so instead I guess I'll just call it inner growth! It's been a gradual peeling away the layers of conditioning to see what lies below the surface (which is, of course, exactly what I write about here!) The one thing I'd add to the list, although I know it doesn't exactly fit, that I have seen frequently is giving up numbing substances - alcohol, food, shopping etc. More and more I see both men and women hit midlife and realize that stuff is no longer serving them which is why I am so glad you do the work you do!
Yes, Donna, I agree with you on that. I haven't cut alcohol entirely, but I'm drinking less and more intentional about when I do it, so there is less impact to sleep. I'm also more deliberate about what I eat, focusing more on gentle nutrition now that I've worked through a lot of the destructive behaviors I used to regularly engage in.
And I guess in your case it was a more gradual awakening, but probably that's been the right pace for you. It's funny for me, that while it seems like change takes forever, there are times where I feel like something I've been working on or struggling with for months, years even, can sometimes just click into place and then it's never an issue again.
I know what you mean - I'll work on something for ages and then click, there it is! Usually I'm left with a longing that it would happen more often🤣 of course!
💯 agree with the shift that comes with giving up numbing substances, Donna! I gave up alcohol at age 42 and since then (4 years later) I feel like I am back in my own body, owning my feelings and decisions. I credit sobriety with my awakening. I know it’s different for everyone but for me, that was the seismic shift.
It's a huge deal for sure Allison! I reached a point where I knew my growth and BEing would be stunted if I didn't move on from alcohol. I have now arrived at that same point with sugar (amazing how those addictions sneak in left and right!) so am laying the groundwork for paying attention to that.
I'm definitely having a midlife moment in my mid-50s! I'm doing it all now ... not letting fear of failure and rejection hold me back any longer. You mentioned my favorite book about menopause too. What Dr. Brizendine says just makes so much sense. I enjoyed reading your article!
I never made that connection as to the dip in estrogen. But it makes total sense. I find that fascinating.
Midlife reclamation- it’s a powerful place to roll around in.
Funny - I’m 46 and I just had my longest stretch without a period (5 months) and I felt so READY and felt excited to be taking even bigger steps into my midlife magic. I love that more women and writers are really talking about all of this because for so long we were conditioned to not “go there.” Just deal.
My midlife moments have felt like an accordion. Just when I feel opened and stretched and ready to truly step into all of me now, I close back up a bit. But I know that awareness is the biggest indicator of growth and I see and feel when I am doing it.
I hadn't come across this idea about estrogen, that is really interesting. That said for the last fourteen years I have been in a community of women who put selfcare first which when I first came across it was radical to me. It is now central to my way of life.
The menopause is a decade behind me andI feel like I am in the most wonderful timeof my life. I like myself! I am finally lucky enough to feel I have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else. I truly wish that for everyone 💜
I never made the connection between the lack of estrogen and wanting to really live my life - that makes so much sense! As I grow closer to my move date to Virginia, I'm so damn proud of myself for making this choice to live my dreams. Once I'm there, I really hope I can live authentically and truly be ME.
It might be more of a Japanese culture thing but at almost 50, I just don't care as much for what acquaintances or strangers will think of me. Or maybe it's a perimenopausal thing and I'm grumpy AF??? 😂
I really fell apart during perimenopause and self-medicated with alcohol. I’ve been sober now for almost 6 years and will never go back to drinking. It’s meant a lot of emotional work but I’m finally learning to find my voice. It’s tough because I’m losing people as I set boundaries and say no to people pleasing but I have faith that this last act of my life will be my most authentic!
Since I hit midlife/menopause, I've marveled at the reinvention that seems to be standard practice at this time. So many women change careers, relationships, attitudes and yes - hair during this stage of life. I am one of them. And I don't hate it.
Thanks for sharing. (Also hello - I was in the midlife Zoom meetup today.)
I’m so different post-menopause. It’s amazing. It is like turning back into my true self, my pre-puberty self. I’m so happy to feel like me again. I started feeling a shift in my late 30s. I called it turning into myself. And now that I’m here I am 💃🕺.
"Turning into myself"—I love this phrase and think it perfectly captures the feeling. It was like you were always there all along but just couldn't quite access true yourself. And I'm so happy to hear that it comes back post-menopause. It gives me hope on weeks like these when I seem to be losing every personal item of value that isn't attached to my body!
It’s really marvelous. I just posted this, Things I loved at 11. https://open.substack.com/pub/drucomics/p/things-i-loved-at-11?r=401uqz&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
I know exactly what you mean! I feel like I'm returning to that little girl again and embracing all the dreams she had. I always wanted to live somewhere rich in history, and that's exactly what I'm doing when I move to Virginia (I've lived in Nebraska my entire life) at the end of next month.
Absolutely! My moment was when I turned 40 and decided to make big shifts in my personal calendar. I started carving out alone time. I started journaling daily. I started to say no. I started to stay home while my husband and son went out. Out of curiosity of medicinal cbd, I started working in the Hemp industry. And I discovered Women's Cycle Awareness and it has been radically transforming women I educate and mentor.
Thank you for sharing this topic. The shift starts way before the bleed stops!
I'll confess, historically I have never paid much attention to where I am in my cycle as it relates to physical/mental/emotional states, but it's on my radar now, and I look forward to learning more. And, yes, I so wish I had known that the shift came before the periods stopped (or even became irregular). I feel like I would have gotten on top of symptoms much sooner.
The seven signs you mention may apply to late life growth as well. Everyone of them speaks to what I feel today - at age 86. I'm reviewing my values, determining what is truly important to me, and rethinking my purpose. The sign that stands out the most for me is #7 - listening to - and trusting - my inner voice. Thanks for this important post.
I wonder if it's the differences in the generations that determines when we hit these milestones. For example, I suspect my kids' aren't going to have to set boundaries when they enter midlife, because they'll have already been doing the work decades before. Or perhaps we enter a new phase in needing to find our purpose again later in life. Thank you for reading. I appreciate and value your perspective.
Very true. I also think that our purpose changes over the years. For me, first it was raise a family, then it was be a career person, then to take care of my husband, then to build a new life after he died, and now it seems to be more about me and being true to me.
I think you're right. We're sort of always fine tuning and realigning ourselves to our purpose in the moment.
I love this Kristi! I think I had some far-fetched idea that when I turned 40 my life would be magical because I would no longer care what other people think and I would hit my stride. It didn't go that way🤣 My midlife awakening has taken about 20 years, so instead I guess I'll just call it inner growth! It's been a gradual peeling away the layers of conditioning to see what lies below the surface (which is, of course, exactly what I write about here!) The one thing I'd add to the list, although I know it doesn't exactly fit, that I have seen frequently is giving up numbing substances - alcohol, food, shopping etc. More and more I see both men and women hit midlife and realize that stuff is no longer serving them which is why I am so glad you do the work you do!
Yes, Donna, I agree with you on that. I haven't cut alcohol entirely, but I'm drinking less and more intentional about when I do it, so there is less impact to sleep. I'm also more deliberate about what I eat, focusing more on gentle nutrition now that I've worked through a lot of the destructive behaviors I used to regularly engage in.
And I guess in your case it was a more gradual awakening, but probably that's been the right pace for you. It's funny for me, that while it seems like change takes forever, there are times where I feel like something I've been working on or struggling with for months, years even, can sometimes just click into place and then it's never an issue again.
I know what you mean - I'll work on something for ages and then click, there it is! Usually I'm left with a longing that it would happen more often🤣 of course!
💯 agree with the shift that comes with giving up numbing substances, Donna! I gave up alcohol at age 42 and since then (4 years later) I feel like I am back in my own body, owning my feelings and decisions. I credit sobriety with my awakening. I know it’s different for everyone but for me, that was the seismic shift.
It's a huge deal for sure Allison! I reached a point where I knew my growth and BEing would be stunted if I didn't move on from alcohol. I have now arrived at that same point with sugar (amazing how those addictions sneak in left and right!) so am laying the groundwork for paying attention to that.
Eeeek, I have lots of work to do as to my sugar intake 🙈
I'm definitely having a midlife moment in my mid-50s! I'm doing it all now ... not letting fear of failure and rejection hold me back any longer. You mentioned my favorite book about menopause too. What Dr. Brizendine says just makes so much sense. I enjoyed reading your article!
Yes! I see you over there making things happen, and I love this for you and for all of us of midlife women who benefit from your wisdom.
Midlife at 36 seems to suit me just fine ♥️ thank you
❤️
I never made that connection as to the dip in estrogen. But it makes total sense. I find that fascinating.
Midlife reclamation- it’s a powerful place to roll around in.
Funny - I’m 46 and I just had my longest stretch without a period (5 months) and I felt so READY and felt excited to be taking even bigger steps into my midlife magic. I love that more women and writers are really talking about all of this because for so long we were conditioned to not “go there.” Just deal.
My midlife moments have felt like an accordion. Just when I feel opened and stretched and ready to truly step into all of me now, I close back up a bit. But I know that awareness is the biggest indicator of growth and I see and feel when I am doing it.
I hadn't come across this idea about estrogen, that is really interesting. That said for the last fourteen years I have been in a community of women who put selfcare first which when I first came across it was radical to me. It is now central to my way of life.
The menopause is a decade behind me andI feel like I am in the most wonderful timeof my life. I like myself! I am finally lucky enough to feel I have nothing to prove to myself or anyone else. I truly wish that for everyone 💜
I never made the connection between the lack of estrogen and wanting to really live my life - that makes so much sense! As I grow closer to my move date to Virginia, I'm so damn proud of myself for making this choice to live my dreams. Once I'm there, I really hope I can live authentically and truly be ME.
It might be more of a Japanese culture thing but at almost 50, I just don't care as much for what acquaintances or strangers will think of me. Or maybe it's a perimenopausal thing and I'm grumpy AF??? 😂
I really fell apart during perimenopause and self-medicated with alcohol. I’ve been sober now for almost 6 years and will never go back to drinking. It’s meant a lot of emotional work but I’m finally learning to find my voice. It’s tough because I’m losing people as I set boundaries and say no to people pleasing but I have faith that this last act of my life will be my most authentic!
Since I hit midlife/menopause, I've marveled at the reinvention that seems to be standard practice at this time. So many women change careers, relationships, attitudes and yes - hair during this stage of life. I am one of them. And I don't hate it.
Thanks for sharing. (Also hello - I was in the midlife Zoom meetup today.)