Going for the Gold Just Beyond Our Comfort Zone

Crazy things happen when we care just a little less about what people think of us and we start doing what calls to us.

Hi. My name is Kristi, and I’m an introvert.

I’ve written about my introversion before and even was the subject of a Q&A with

SleepyHollowInk

about it. 

But today I want to talk about the rewards that come when you take just a few steps outside of your comfort zone. Lately, I’ve been doing what feels like—to me at least—a lot of stepping outside of my little bubble, and it’s been a more rewarding experience than in the past.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the dread I had at attending the National Association of Women Business Owners’ annual conference, even though I had friends—yes, actual friends, not just acquaintances or colleagues—attending. And while I won’t yet call them friends, I connected with people at the event that I will see again—and want to see again—because of my affiliation with this organization. 

To be clear, all the networking wiped me out. Three days of making small talk at large tables in packed ballrooms and chatting with women in the bustling expo hall about why they should consider writing their own book were exhausting. And that’s mostly because for introverts, it’s draining to be “on” for extended periods of time. I was me but not too me, because too me isn’t always this upbeat. 

I question.

I challenge. 

I doubt.

Coming home, I continued down the path of “being on” and “putting myself out there.” In the last week, I took several small steps that would normally be uncharacteristic of me: 

1. I helped host a book signing event at a local boutique and went out of my way to introduce myself to people I didn’t know, and I worked up the nerve to ask the boutique employee responsible for donations about becoming a sponsor for a women’s giving collective I’m involved with. 

2. I went up to a local musician that my husband and I had gone to see and introduced myself before his set. Just because. 

3. I asked a writer I met on Substack out for coffee. 

If you knew me at all, you’d be wondering, What happened to Kristi?

My fellow introverts, you’ve heard all the reasons to put yourself out there. 

Personal growth, expanded horizons, relationship building, career advancement, increased confidence, life satisfaction…just to name a few. 

But for all of you out there thinking, All of this sounds sooooo scary, it is. And it comes with risks.

You could get the blowoff. You could get laughed at. You could be rejected. 

Except something weird has happened as I’ve continued to put myself out there. I’ve seen an increase in my IDGAFism. It’s not that I really don’t GAF, but I’m less hung up on how I sound, and whether I come across as weird or needy. I’m less self-conscious. I’m less likely to spend hours second-guessing myself and my decisions. 

More IDGAFism is what most of us who have spent our whole lives feeling like we don’t measure up need. And, again, I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t not GAF at all. I’m suggesting we spend less time GAF about what others think of us so we can spend more time using our intrinsic gifts for good and living more fulfilling lives.

Crazy things happen when we care just a little less about what people think of us and we start doing what calls to us. This is what Martha Beck refers to as living in integrity. 

At first, the experience of putting yourself out there feels disorienting and unsettling. As time passes, you get more comfortable standing on shaky ground. One day, you realize you’re standing on one side of a fault line. On the other side are the messages you’ve heard whispered in your ear your entire life. Conform. Behave. Change to fit the mold. Look, act, and think the way we dictate to gain love, respect, and admiration. And if you somehow can’t conform to these standards, it’s your fault alone. 

The longer you spend on the other side of that chasm, the more you see those falsehoods for what they are. As long as you try to change yourself into something you’re not, you remain weak and diminished. The more you tune into yourself, the more you believe in yourself and pursue your true calling, the easier it is to stand on your own, the happier you become.

Introducing an Austin Substack Meetup

As I alluded to, early last week I connected with fellow Substacker

Jen Baxter

during a Substack Masterclass on Building Your Brand hosted by

Farrah Storr

,

Poorna Bell

,

Emma Gannon

and

Leyla Kazim

when I realized Jen and I lived in the same area. We exchanged a few emails, and I asked if she’d be up for coffee. Friday, I met

The Skillful Scribbler | Jen Baxter

in person at my favorite coffee shop in Austin, which overlooks picturesque Lake Austin. We had a two-hour coffee chat on a perfect fall day that could have gone on for longer, had I not needed to pick up my daughter from school. We ended it with a plan to host a Substack meetup, since

On Substack

introduced a meetup program a few weeks ago. We roped in a former Austin American-Statesman colleague of mine,

Addie Broyles

of

The Feminist Kitchen

, for hosting duties, and now it’s officially a party!

Here's the deal: Writing can be a solitary, lonely process. Most of the time, my inner introvert loves this process, but lately I’ve found myself wishing I knew more people in real life who are going through the same experience of building their writing career on Substack as me. Meeting Jen was so joyful and sparked so many creative ideas, and it was also so great to connect with someone on the same page as me.

The event is happening Nov. 28, so fellow Austin Substackers, please spread the word!

Big Changes Are Coming to Almost Sated!

I’ve been working with the fabulous Sarah Fay of

Writers at Work

for the last few months on my Substack, and she has been so helpful in helping me get more clear about the focus of my work here and what I want to provide subscribers. She guided me in revising my about page so that it better reflects the mission. 

As a journalist and content marketer, I have spent most of my career in service to others. Now my priority is to provide valuable, useful support and guidance to those of us who have struggled with self-worth and body image issues. It’s my dream to build a community of like-minded people who want to stop measuring their self-worth by their appearance—and maybe even quit diets for good. No matter where you are in the process of reclaiming yourself, you are welcome here!

In January, I will introduce paid subscriptions. Most of the content here on Almost Sated will remain free, however, going paid will allow me to continue doing this work, expand my offerings to subscribers, and provide more community—and accountability—for all of us. It will also allow me to create a welcome, safe space for those who want to have open, frank conversations about the issues most important to them. 

I will preview what’s coming over the next few weeks. If you value this work, please consider pledging your support for Almost Sated now.

If you want to be part of this community, but cannot afford a subscription, email me at kristik (at) substack.com.